Dear Readers,
May you be blessed with love, laughter, joy and peace this Christmas.
May all your prayers be answered and your dreams come true in the New Year.
Thank you for visiting my Blog,
Love,
Alice
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
A Letter To Santa
Hello... please come in. I am a little sad today. My friend Maryanne Webber just gave me a copy of a letter her cousin sent her in her Christmas card this year. Would you like to read it? It might dampen your Christmas spirit.
Dear Santa,
My wish list for Christmas might seem a little strange. I don't want toys, video games or candy. I'm not sure I even know what these things are. All I know is that they are important to my parents.
I would like some time… a minute if you have one… so I can give it to my mommy. When I ask her to help me with my homework and she says, "Ok, just give me a minute." I will have one to give her. If she says she would read me a bedtime story if she only had the time. I would have some to give her and not be so scared at night.
If it is not too much trouble, I would also like a round tuit. I need it for my daddy. I know he really would like to take me fishing or teach me how to ride my bike, but he needs a round tuit first.
I know you are very busy making toys for the other children. I can help you if you want. I have a lot of toys and stuff I never played with. My mommy and daddy give them to me whenever they miss my school plays or can't take me to the park or any other fun stuff. I really don't mind giving them to you. I can always get more toys from my mommy and daddy, but I can't get the time and a round tuit I need to have my parents play with me.
If you can't get these things for me, could you make us poor? My friend Billy is poor and his mommy is always home and bakes cookies for his lunch and goes to his school plays. His daddy taught him to ride his bike. It's an old bike with only one gear, but at least he knows how to ride it. When I get bored with my video games I sometimes look out my bedroom window and see Billy playing tag with his brother and sister. My nanny won't let me go over because she doesn't get paid enough to worry about me getting hurt playing with those noisy little rascals.
Don't worry if you can't get a round tuit or don't have the time, I’m used to it by now. You can still have all my unused toys... give some to Billy. I can watch him play with them from by bedroom window.
Merry Christmas.
Love,
Jamie
Dear Santa,
My wish list for Christmas might seem a little strange. I don't want toys, video games or candy. I'm not sure I even know what these things are. All I know is that they are important to my parents.
I would like some time… a minute if you have one… so I can give it to my mommy. When I ask her to help me with my homework and she says, "Ok, just give me a minute." I will have one to give her. If she says she would read me a bedtime story if she only had the time. I would have some to give her and not be so scared at night.
If it is not too much trouble, I would also like a round tuit. I need it for my daddy. I know he really would like to take me fishing or teach me how to ride my bike, but he needs a round tuit first.
I know you are very busy making toys for the other children. I can help you if you want. I have a lot of toys and stuff I never played with. My mommy and daddy give them to me whenever they miss my school plays or can't take me to the park or any other fun stuff. I really don't mind giving them to you. I can always get more toys from my mommy and daddy, but I can't get the time and a round tuit I need to have my parents play with me.
If you can't get these things for me, could you make us poor? My friend Billy is poor and his mommy is always home and bakes cookies for his lunch and goes to his school plays. His daddy taught him to ride his bike. It's an old bike with only one gear, but at least he knows how to ride it. When I get bored with my video games I sometimes look out my bedroom window and see Billy playing tag with his brother and sister. My nanny won't let me go over because she doesn't get paid enough to worry about me getting hurt playing with those noisy little rascals.
Don't worry if you can't get a round tuit or don't have the time, I’m used to it by now. You can still have all my unused toys... give some to Billy. I can watch him play with them from by bedroom window.
Merry Christmas.
Love,
Jamie
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Baby Can You Hear Me
Dear Bella Nonna,
I am worried my three year-old son might be hearing impaired. Sometimes when I call his name, I get no response. He will be playing on the floor not four feet from me and I will call his name and he just keeps on playing. He doesn't even look up. I had heard stories of mothers depriving their children of precious learning experiences by not realizing they were hearing impaired.
I mentioned this to his pediatrician at our last visit and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand and a grunt," New mothers… you all worry too much. Relax, he's fine."
I trust my son's doctor, but I still have this nagging feeling that something might not be right.
What do you think I should do?
Worried in Washington
Dearest Worried,
I went through the exact experience with my three sons. I would try to get their attention and they would often keep right on playing as if I wasn't there.
When Mickey was a toddler I decided to do my own hearing test. One day while he was playing in the living room, I went into the kitchen and opened a bag of cookies. Within seconds he came running in to get one for himself.
I have used this hearing test throughout my three sons' childhood. In fact, I just used it today. While they were outside working on their cars, the radio blasting, I went into the kitchen and opened up the last package of Tastykake. I am happy to report; all three of my sons have excellent hearing.
Take care,
Bella Nonna
I am worried my three year-old son might be hearing impaired. Sometimes when I call his name, I get no response. He will be playing on the floor not four feet from me and I will call his name and he just keeps on playing. He doesn't even look up. I had heard stories of mothers depriving their children of precious learning experiences by not realizing they were hearing impaired.
I mentioned this to his pediatrician at our last visit and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand and a grunt," New mothers… you all worry too much. Relax, he's fine."
I trust my son's doctor, but I still have this nagging feeling that something might not be right.
What do you think I should do?
Worried in Washington
Dearest Worried,
I went through the exact experience with my three sons. I would try to get their attention and they would often keep right on playing as if I wasn't there.
When Mickey was a toddler I decided to do my own hearing test. One day while he was playing in the living room, I went into the kitchen and opened a bag of cookies. Within seconds he came running in to get one for himself.
I have used this hearing test throughout my three sons' childhood. In fact, I just used it today. While they were outside working on their cars, the radio blasting, I went into the kitchen and opened up the last package of Tastykake. I am happy to report; all three of my sons have excellent hearing.
Take care,
Bella Nonna
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Campaign Speech
Grab your coat… I am heading off to the new high school. Jamila Williams just called to tell me Angelina McGuire is going to run for some sort of office. She is announcing it at the school board meeting tonight. Jamila said that Angelina is all fired up and that her campaign speech is going to be inspiring.
Great we are just in time; Angelina is up next. Let’s grab those two chairs on the left next to that exit door… in case we need to make a quick get-away.
Hello everyone, I am Angelina McGuire. I would like to climb up on my fertilizer bag and throw my potholder into the ring. I feel it is about time we address the issue of yet another species that is being driven to extinction… the stay-at-home mom. She is being slowly fazed-out, taken for granted and told she is obsolete. Her presence has been disappearing from our homes and our lives at an alarming rate.
I know many of you are probably saying to yourselves… No she’s not… She is at home right now… probably in the kitchen.
Is she? Have you taken a look lately? She is gone. The microwave, dishwasher and readymade flash frozen preservative laden somewhat edible food-like products have replaced her.
Now you are probably think … Well if she isn’t in the kitchen she must be in the family room listening to the children telling her about their day or maybe helping them with homework. She could be playing a game or building a puzzle. I know she use to love doing that.
Nope, she is not there either. I only see plush Italian leather furniture, a complete home entertainment center with Dolby Surround Sound, a video game console, a few dirty cups and an empty potato chip bag.
Some of you might be heading to your children’s bedrooms expecting her to be there getting them ready for bed. She will be putting them into their jammies, singing lullabies and telling them bedtime stories.
Let me save you the trip. All you will find is a perfectly decorated room with hardwood furniture and matching bedding and curtains that took three stores and two credit cards to pull off. You will probably find a CD player, personal computer and toys that do everything… including telling your children the bedtime stories she use to tell.
I can hear you all saying to yourselves… If we didn’t notice she was gone, she probable wasn’t all that important. So get off that fertilizer bag and spread it around your garden where it will do some good.
I will, but before I climb down I would like to ask how many of you remember how nice it was to have someone at home to greet you when you came home from school? I remember the huge smile on my mother’s face when I came bursting in with some great news or how comforting her hugs were when someone hurt my feelings. Do you remember how warm and cozy the kitchen was when your mom was baking a pie or some gooey chocolate chip cookies? When you get home and open your front door after a hard day, don’t you wish you could be greeted by the smell of dinner cooking in the oven? Ahhh…. memories.
Unfortunately some of you won’t remember these things because you didn’t have a stay at home mom. But don’t despair; it is not too late. You can save the stay-at-home mom and make these wonderful memories with your children. You may not be wealthy but you will be happy and enrich your life.
Oh… the oven timer just went off. I’ll climb down now. May I have my potholder back? I need it to take the cake out of the oven.
Thanks for listening and please pick up a flyer from the table in the back of the auditorium.
Dear Friends,
Today you have the opportunity to help not one, but two generations of people trying to survive in this modern world. Due to a fast pace life, with its many distractions, we have put a very important part of life on hold. We have misplaced our priorities in our quest to make our lives better… and are paying a very high price for it. Our society has misinformed us. Convincing us that we can have it all… money, power and respect. All we have to do is be willing to work for it. Unfortunately, in the process of “working for it”, we have traded the joy of a child’s laughter for the high quality sound of our IPod, the look on our baby’s face when they take their first steps for the clarity of our high definition televisions, the thrill and excitement of watching our children ride a bike without training wheels, hit a home run, score a touchdown, bake their first cake and finally make it to the top of the monkey bars for the thrill and excitement of closing the deal, doubling our profit and having a great stock portfolio. These are memories and experiences we will never get back.
My dear friends, we are human BEINGS. We need to take the time to just be. I know some of you are saying to yourselves, time is money, I can’t waste it playing. If you are measuring your life in terms of dollars and cents… I guess you are right. But if you choose to measure your life in terms of happiness and cherished memories, then the time you spend with your children is priceless.
For just minutes a day, the time it takes to play one game of cyber solitaire, you can make a difference in your child’s life. You can make YOUR world a brighter, happier, more loving place to live in… and will have memories that will last a lifetime.
So, won’t you please help? Make the commitment today. They are depending on YOU.
Wishing you love, laughter and many happy memories,
Angelina McGuire
----------------------------------------------------
Yes Angelina, I will help make a difference in my child’s life.
Enclose is my pledge to spend more time with my children.
I PLEDGE TO SPEND:
_____ Minutes a week reading a book to them.
_____ Minutes a week playing a game with them.
_____ Minutes a week talking with them.
_____ Minutes a week listening to them.
____A lifetime loving, laughing and enjoying life with them.
Great we are just in time; Angelina is up next. Let’s grab those two chairs on the left next to that exit door… in case we need to make a quick get-away.
Hello everyone, I am Angelina McGuire. I would like to climb up on my fertilizer bag and throw my potholder into the ring. I feel it is about time we address the issue of yet another species that is being driven to extinction… the stay-at-home mom. She is being slowly fazed-out, taken for granted and told she is obsolete. Her presence has been disappearing from our homes and our lives at an alarming rate.
I know many of you are probably saying to yourselves… No she’s not… She is at home right now… probably in the kitchen.
Is she? Have you taken a look lately? She is gone. The microwave, dishwasher and readymade flash frozen preservative laden somewhat edible food-like products have replaced her.
Now you are probably think … Well if she isn’t in the kitchen she must be in the family room listening to the children telling her about their day or maybe helping them with homework. She could be playing a game or building a puzzle. I know she use to love doing that.
Nope, she is not there either. I only see plush Italian leather furniture, a complete home entertainment center with Dolby Surround Sound, a video game console, a few dirty cups and an empty potato chip bag.
Some of you might be heading to your children’s bedrooms expecting her to be there getting them ready for bed. She will be putting them into their jammies, singing lullabies and telling them bedtime stories.
Let me save you the trip. All you will find is a perfectly decorated room with hardwood furniture and matching bedding and curtains that took three stores and two credit cards to pull off. You will probably find a CD player, personal computer and toys that do everything… including telling your children the bedtime stories she use to tell.
I can hear you all saying to yourselves… If we didn’t notice she was gone, she probable wasn’t all that important. So get off that fertilizer bag and spread it around your garden where it will do some good.
I will, but before I climb down I would like to ask how many of you remember how nice it was to have someone at home to greet you when you came home from school? I remember the huge smile on my mother’s face when I came bursting in with some great news or how comforting her hugs were when someone hurt my feelings. Do you remember how warm and cozy the kitchen was when your mom was baking a pie or some gooey chocolate chip cookies? When you get home and open your front door after a hard day, don’t you wish you could be greeted by the smell of dinner cooking in the oven? Ahhh…. memories.
Unfortunately some of you won’t remember these things because you didn’t have a stay at home mom. But don’t despair; it is not too late. You can save the stay-at-home mom and make these wonderful memories with your children. You may not be wealthy but you will be happy and enrich your life.
Oh… the oven timer just went off. I’ll climb down now. May I have my potholder back? I need it to take the cake out of the oven.
Thanks for listening and please pick up a flyer from the table in the back of the auditorium.
Dear Friends,
Today you have the opportunity to help not one, but two generations of people trying to survive in this modern world. Due to a fast pace life, with its many distractions, we have put a very important part of life on hold. We have misplaced our priorities in our quest to make our lives better… and are paying a very high price for it. Our society has misinformed us. Convincing us that we can have it all… money, power and respect. All we have to do is be willing to work for it. Unfortunately, in the process of “working for it”, we have traded the joy of a child’s laughter for the high quality sound of our IPod, the look on our baby’s face when they take their first steps for the clarity of our high definition televisions, the thrill and excitement of watching our children ride a bike without training wheels, hit a home run, score a touchdown, bake their first cake and finally make it to the top of the monkey bars for the thrill and excitement of closing the deal, doubling our profit and having a great stock portfolio. These are memories and experiences we will never get back.
My dear friends, we are human BEINGS. We need to take the time to just be. I know some of you are saying to yourselves, time is money, I can’t waste it playing. If you are measuring your life in terms of dollars and cents… I guess you are right. But if you choose to measure your life in terms of happiness and cherished memories, then the time you spend with your children is priceless.
For just minutes a day, the time it takes to play one game of cyber solitaire, you can make a difference in your child’s life. You can make YOUR world a brighter, happier, more loving place to live in… and will have memories that will last a lifetime.
So, won’t you please help? Make the commitment today. They are depending on YOU.
Wishing you love, laughter and many happy memories,
Angelina McGuire
----------------------------------------------------
Yes Angelina, I will help make a difference in my child’s life.
Enclose is my pledge to spend more time with my children.
I PLEDGE TO SPEND:
_____ Minutes a week reading a book to them.
_____ Minutes a week playing a game with them.
_____ Minutes a week talking with them.
_____ Minutes a week listening to them.
____A lifetime loving, laughing and enjoying life with them.
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Pendulum Has Swung
Hello Willa, how are you doing on this beautiful autumn day?
I am pretty good Bella Nonna… I got my aches and pains but what's the use in complaining… everyone else seems to be doing enough of that. I was at the County Fair last week and all I heard was how rough parents have it with their children now a days. The way they yell at their children… it's heartbreaking.
I know what you mean Willa, for generations parents have uttered those threatening words "just wait until you have children of your own!" They have cursed their children with so many plagues and misfortunes; it's a wonder the human race is still in existence. I guess it's a good thing children rarely listen to their parent.
Although, over the past several years Willa I have noticed a trend; I find it is not the parents who are issuing the threats, but their children.
Really Bella Nonna…I hadn't noticed?
Oh yes, I heard a seven-year old child tearfully exclaim, "Just wait until I have children of my own and I'm reading them a bedtime story and you want me to sit outside with you and watch the sun set... I'll be the one saying not now... I'm too busy!"
Then three weeks ago while unclogging the mower deck of my garden tractor I heard my neighbor’s sixteen-year old son rattle off this threat, "Fine Dad, you don't have to teach me to drive. But one day I'm gonna have a son of my own and I’m going to teach him how to drive so HE can drive YOU to the old age home."
Just last week Carmen told me her fourteen-year old step-daughter issued this threat, "This is what I've made for dinner. When you start making the dinners, then YOU can decide what we're gonna eat... until then you have two choices...eat it or starve!"
I had no idea that this was happening Bella Nonna … but now that you mention it when I was at the library I watched in amazement as a frustration five-year old boy tried to zipper up his jacket. He kept pleading with his father to help him, but his father just kept reading his newspaper. After about fifteen minutes of unsuccessful trying, the little guy squared his shoulders and exploded, "FINE... the next time I'm reading my Ranger Rick magazine and you need help getting to the next level of your video game, don't expect ME to be there for YOU!" I don't think the little boy's father would have paid any attention to him if the librarian hadn't asked the man to keep his son quiet.
Willa, I have heard many threats being issued throughout my life… some were funny, some were frightening and some made absolutely no sense at all. In fact I thought I had heard them all until just last week while I was taking a walk, I saw a sweet little eighteen-month-old baby standing in the middle of her yard. A beautiful rainbow aura was surrounding her... I'm not sure if it was caused by her inner-spirit or an over loaded disposable diaper. As I was approaching her house I could hear her babbling away at the top of her lungs. How cute and what a vocabulary, I thought. But as I was passing her house I realized she was not babbling... she was setting forth a curse like you wouldn't believe.
"May your tummy come un-tucked in the middle of an important board meeting. May the FDA outlaw Botox and your face end up looking like a Shar-Pei. May you be forced to wear your adult diaper until it has enough tinkle in it to fill the Grand Canyon!" I wasn’t able to hear the rest of her threat because a thunderstorm suddenly came upon us and I had to hightail it back home… at least I think it was a thunderstorm.
Bella Nonna, do you remember when it was the parents that made the rules? What has happened? Somehow parents have lost their children's respect and faith in their wisdom. Why have adults become comfortable with the role of the buffoon in the TV programs children watch? When did letting a child run roughshod over your life become the norm? As a teenager I looked forward to the future with hope and excitement... now that I am here ... I'm not so sure. Parents better stepping up to the plate and start taking responsibility for their obligations to their children. They are not "toys", but precious lives that they were blessed with. It is time for these parents to grow up and shed their selfish ways. I know I sound preachy, but if the human race is to have a future we all better take care of the present generation.
I am pretty good Bella Nonna… I got my aches and pains but what's the use in complaining… everyone else seems to be doing enough of that. I was at the County Fair last week and all I heard was how rough parents have it with their children now a days. The way they yell at their children… it's heartbreaking.
I know what you mean Willa, for generations parents have uttered those threatening words "just wait until you have children of your own!" They have cursed their children with so many plagues and misfortunes; it's a wonder the human race is still in existence. I guess it's a good thing children rarely listen to their parent.
Although, over the past several years Willa I have noticed a trend; I find it is not the parents who are issuing the threats, but their children.
Really Bella Nonna…I hadn't noticed?
Oh yes, I heard a seven-year old child tearfully exclaim, "Just wait until I have children of my own and I'm reading them a bedtime story and you want me to sit outside with you and watch the sun set... I'll be the one saying not now... I'm too busy!"
Then three weeks ago while unclogging the mower deck of my garden tractor I heard my neighbor’s sixteen-year old son rattle off this threat, "Fine Dad, you don't have to teach me to drive. But one day I'm gonna have a son of my own and I’m going to teach him how to drive so HE can drive YOU to the old age home."
Just last week Carmen told me her fourteen-year old step-daughter issued this threat, "This is what I've made for dinner. When you start making the dinners, then YOU can decide what we're gonna eat... until then you have two choices...eat it or starve!"
I had no idea that this was happening Bella Nonna … but now that you mention it when I was at the library I watched in amazement as a frustration five-year old boy tried to zipper up his jacket. He kept pleading with his father to help him, but his father just kept reading his newspaper. After about fifteen minutes of unsuccessful trying, the little guy squared his shoulders and exploded, "FINE... the next time I'm reading my Ranger Rick magazine and you need help getting to the next level of your video game, don't expect ME to be there for YOU!" I don't think the little boy's father would have paid any attention to him if the librarian hadn't asked the man to keep his son quiet.
Willa, I have heard many threats being issued throughout my life… some were funny, some were frightening and some made absolutely no sense at all. In fact I thought I had heard them all until just last week while I was taking a walk, I saw a sweet little eighteen-month-old baby standing in the middle of her yard. A beautiful rainbow aura was surrounding her... I'm not sure if it was caused by her inner-spirit or an over loaded disposable diaper. As I was approaching her house I could hear her babbling away at the top of her lungs. How cute and what a vocabulary, I thought. But as I was passing her house I realized she was not babbling... she was setting forth a curse like you wouldn't believe.
"May your tummy come un-tucked in the middle of an important board meeting. May the FDA outlaw Botox and your face end up looking like a Shar-Pei. May you be forced to wear your adult diaper until it has enough tinkle in it to fill the Grand Canyon!" I wasn’t able to hear the rest of her threat because a thunderstorm suddenly came upon us and I had to hightail it back home… at least I think it was a thunderstorm.
Bella Nonna, do you remember when it was the parents that made the rules? What has happened? Somehow parents have lost their children's respect and faith in their wisdom. Why have adults become comfortable with the role of the buffoon in the TV programs children watch? When did letting a child run roughshod over your life become the norm? As a teenager I looked forward to the future with hope and excitement... now that I am here ... I'm not so sure. Parents better stepping up to the plate and start taking responsibility for their obligations to their children. They are not "toys", but precious lives that they were blessed with. It is time for these parents to grow up and shed their selfish ways. I know I sound preachy, but if the human race is to have a future we all better take care of the present generation.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Ask Bella Nonna
Dear Bella Nonna,
My three year old son refuses to potty train completely. He, for the most part, has mastered making poopy in the potty… but will not go pee pee in the potty. I have followed all the suggestions in all of my parenting books… from keeping track of when he drinks liquids to when he become wet to putting a bull's-eye in the bowl of the toilet. Please help…I am at my wits end and up to my waist in dirty laundry.
Soggy in Saskatchewan
Dearest Soggy,
I know potty training can be very frustrating, having raised three sons of my own. My first bit of advice is to relax… I was going to suggest you take a deep breath but considering your current situation I'm afraid you might pass out from the toxic fumes.
Speaking of toxic fumes… Did you know that bleach mixed with little boy tinkle will produce a noxious gas? I nearly killed myself the first time I did a load of dirty diapers. I put the diapers into the washer, filled it with very hot water and as the washer agitated the diapers I poured in a generous cup of chlorine bleach. Within seconds my eyes started tearing and my lungs burned with each inhale… I flung the lid of the washer shut and literally crawled gagging and coughing out of the laundry room.
Okay, back to your problem. I have a secret to potty training that has been handed down from generation to generation. I call it the free-range method of potty training. This method of potty training can be started as early as 21 months of age.
On a warm sunny day dress your toddler in "big boy" undies and a T-shirt and let him play outside. When you notice "nature" about to call calmly ask if he has to go potty. Gently, but quickly, take him to the potty and let him go. If your bathroom is on the second floor of your house it would be helpful to have potty-chair close by.
Make sure you praise him for "holding it" until he got to the potty, as well as, after he has gone. Don't worry if you miss the warning signs and he has an accident. This helps your baby understand the concept of "having to go potty" by letting him see, as well as feel, what is happening to his little body.
Because there is less "mess" to clean up after an accident, you will find this method less stressful on you and your child.
My three year old son refuses to potty train completely. He, for the most part, has mastered making poopy in the potty… but will not go pee pee in the potty. I have followed all the suggestions in all of my parenting books… from keeping track of when he drinks liquids to when he become wet to putting a bull's-eye in the bowl of the toilet. Please help…I am at my wits end and up to my waist in dirty laundry.
Soggy in Saskatchewan
Dearest Soggy,
I know potty training can be very frustrating, having raised three sons of my own. My first bit of advice is to relax… I was going to suggest you take a deep breath but considering your current situation I'm afraid you might pass out from the toxic fumes.
Speaking of toxic fumes… Did you know that bleach mixed with little boy tinkle will produce a noxious gas? I nearly killed myself the first time I did a load of dirty diapers. I put the diapers into the washer, filled it with very hot water and as the washer agitated the diapers I poured in a generous cup of chlorine bleach. Within seconds my eyes started tearing and my lungs burned with each inhale… I flung the lid of the washer shut and literally crawled gagging and coughing out of the laundry room.
Okay, back to your problem. I have a secret to potty training that has been handed down from generation to generation. I call it the free-range method of potty training. This method of potty training can be started as early as 21 months of age.
On a warm sunny day dress your toddler in "big boy" undies and a T-shirt and let him play outside. When you notice "nature" about to call calmly ask if he has to go potty. Gently, but quickly, take him to the potty and let him go. If your bathroom is on the second floor of your house it would be helpful to have potty-chair close by.
Make sure you praise him for "holding it" until he got to the potty, as well as, after he has gone. Don't worry if you miss the warning signs and he has an accident. This helps your baby understand the concept of "having to go potty" by letting him see, as well as feel, what is happening to his little body.
Because there is less "mess" to clean up after an accident, you will find this method less stressful on you and your child.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Out In The Sun Too Long
I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamt the cast from the Wizard of Oz was running amuck in my ‘Garden of Weedin'.
Do you want to hear about it? Ok, get comfortable… Here goes.
I was walking back to my garden to do a little weeding when I came across The Cowardly Lion. He was standing in a field of dandelions frantically crying "pullem up…pullem up!" I told him I had a fancy tool that pull up dandelions by their root in the shed and I would gladly get it for him.
On the way to the shed I found Glenda, the Good Witch of the North, standing over my herb garden trying to decide if the caterpillar munching away on the parsley was a garden pest or a future butterfly. She kept asking it, "Are you a good worm or a bad worm?" I had a Farmer's Guide to Garden Pests book inside the house and offered to go and get it for her just as soon as I got the tool for the Cowardly Lion.
I continued on with my quest to get the dandelion tool when I saw The Scarecrow sitting on my back steps. He was soulfully singing, "I could do a lotta prunin', some cuttin' and dead headin' if I could only find my shears."
Just then The Tin Woodsman called out, "Oil can…oil can! I found your garden shears Scarecrow. You left them out in the rain again."
I told them about The Cowardly Lion's dilemma and they offer to take the dandelion tool over to him and give him a little help. I got the gardening book and gave it to Glenda. She said she could handle things from here and to go back to what I was doing. So off to my veggie garden I went.
To my horror, I found The Wicked Witch of the West gobbling up everything in sight. She kept cackling, "I'm gonna pick you my pretty and eatch too!"
I called to Dorothy for help, but she just stood there holding her little dog and crying, "Toto, I don't think we're gonna be cannin' anymore."
The next thing I knew, my little munchkins were calling for me. It was time for me to get up and make breakfast.
I guess my mother wasn't kidding when she told me to always wear a hat when you're out in the sun.
Before I go I'd like to leave you with a little piece of advice.... when life gets you down remember… there's no place like a garden…there's no place like a garden…there's no place like a garden.
Do you want to hear about it? Ok, get comfortable… Here goes.
I was walking back to my garden to do a little weeding when I came across The Cowardly Lion. He was standing in a field of dandelions frantically crying "pullem up…pullem up!" I told him I had a fancy tool that pull up dandelions by their root in the shed and I would gladly get it for him.
On the way to the shed I found Glenda, the Good Witch of the North, standing over my herb garden trying to decide if the caterpillar munching away on the parsley was a garden pest or a future butterfly. She kept asking it, "Are you a good worm or a bad worm?" I had a Farmer's Guide to Garden Pests book inside the house and offered to go and get it for her just as soon as I got the tool for the Cowardly Lion.
I continued on with my quest to get the dandelion tool when I saw The Scarecrow sitting on my back steps. He was soulfully singing, "I could do a lotta prunin', some cuttin' and dead headin' if I could only find my shears."
Just then The Tin Woodsman called out, "Oil can…oil can! I found your garden shears Scarecrow. You left them out in the rain again."
I told them about The Cowardly Lion's dilemma and they offer to take the dandelion tool over to him and give him a little help. I got the gardening book and gave it to Glenda. She said she could handle things from here and to go back to what I was doing. So off to my veggie garden I went.
To my horror, I found The Wicked Witch of the West gobbling up everything in sight. She kept cackling, "I'm gonna pick you my pretty and eatch too!"
I called to Dorothy for help, but she just stood there holding her little dog and crying, "Toto, I don't think we're gonna be cannin' anymore."
The next thing I knew, my little munchkins were calling for me. It was time for me to get up and make breakfast.
I guess my mother wasn't kidding when she told me to always wear a hat when you're out in the sun.
Before I go I'd like to leave you with a little piece of advice.... when life gets you down remember… there's no place like a garden…there's no place like a garden…there's no place like a garden.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Is It A Guy Thing?
Alisa so nice to see you…
Hi Bella Nonna, how are you today?
I am doing well… thanks for asking. How are you? You look a little frazzled.
Oh, I'm fine… it just the boys have me going a little crazy.
Come in and tell me all about it.
Bella Nonna it is not my intention to offend all those thoughtful and considerate guys out there that are totally innocent of this offence, nor do I mean to infer that this is only a guy thing, but being the only female in a house full of males I know that I alone am completely innocent of this heinous crime.
What is this horrible crime of which I speak you might ask?
It's leaving the last little tiny minuscule amount of something in a container.
I am solely responsible for the hunting and gathering in my family... a job that I do not take lightly. For years I have prided myself on always having the staples in our home in spite of our financial circumstances.
Now that my guys are older and our finances are on the rise, you would think that our food supply would always be in abundance.
Today I decided to follow Oprah's advice and not only eat breakfast, something I'm ashamed to admit I rarely do, but to make it special. I went into my china cabinet and took out one of my "for special company only" crystal salad bowls and a silver teaspoon. I lovingly placed them on the kitchen counter and went into the pantry to get the box of Frosted Mini Wheat. I opened the box and poured the contents into my bowl, out tumbled three mutilated little biscuits and a pile of shredded wheat. Thank goodness I was using one of my "for special company only" crystal bowls, I was able to overcome my disappointment and continue on with my special "I owe it to myself" breakfast.
Even with the sun glistening all around my bowl, the cereal looked lost. I decided to add in some raisins. I opened up the cupboard door and lift out the canister of raisins. When I lifted off the lid I found a single raisin residing inside. I added this pitiful contribution to my bowl.
Still determined to have a full bowl of food, I headed for my supply of nuts. Apparently the gerbils had called dibs on all but four almonds and a bunch of walnut dust.
You might think that having an almost empty cereal bowl and an over-loaded trash bag would have dampened my resolve, but it didn't. I looked at my beautiful bowl with its meager contents and headed to the refrigerator for some milk. Yep, you guessed it. The bottle held about an eyedropper full of milk.
For years I overlooked potato chip bags with two chips in them, ice cream container with only a spoonful left and empty Tastykake boxes left on the shelf telling myself, "It's for the best... I didn't need the calories".
I have replaced empty toilet tissue rolls and tissue boxes with a sigh..."It's all in a day work".
I tried to be a good sport when I went to the refrigerator for some lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers to make a salad for Sunday dinner and found the crisper empty leaving me no alternative but run out in the pouring rain in my church clothes to collect some from the garden.
When I found the shampoo bottle empty and was forced to use hand soap to wash my hair, did I complain? Okay, I did. But who could blame me...my hair ended up looking like straw.
Will someone kindly explain this phenomenon to me? Is this a question of nature versus nurture? Am I expecting too much from the men in my life... are they incapable of throwing things away by themselves?
I threw the contents of my cereal bowl out to the birds and decide to take a walk to ponder these questions. I guess I just subconsciously headed to your house looking for the answers. You are living in an all male household… I was hoping you could reassure me that my guys will outgrow this behavior.
You poor baby… I know how you feel. When my sons were little I always knew what I had on hand, but ever since they became teenagers everything in the house mysteriously disappears.
Alisa, you never had your special breakfast…let me make you an omelet.
ALRIGHT…WHO LEFT THE EMPTY EGG CARTON IN THE REFRIGERATOR?
Hi Bella Nonna, how are you today?
I am doing well… thanks for asking. How are you? You look a little frazzled.
Oh, I'm fine… it just the boys have me going a little crazy.
Come in and tell me all about it.
Bella Nonna it is not my intention to offend all those thoughtful and considerate guys out there that are totally innocent of this offence, nor do I mean to infer that this is only a guy thing, but being the only female in a house full of males I know that I alone am completely innocent of this heinous crime.
What is this horrible crime of which I speak you might ask?
It's leaving the last little tiny minuscule amount of something in a container.
I am solely responsible for the hunting and gathering in my family... a job that I do not take lightly. For years I have prided myself on always having the staples in our home in spite of our financial circumstances.
Now that my guys are older and our finances are on the rise, you would think that our food supply would always be in abundance.
Today I decided to follow Oprah's advice and not only eat breakfast, something I'm ashamed to admit I rarely do, but to make it special. I went into my china cabinet and took out one of my "for special company only" crystal salad bowls and a silver teaspoon. I lovingly placed them on the kitchen counter and went into the pantry to get the box of Frosted Mini Wheat. I opened the box and poured the contents into my bowl, out tumbled three mutilated little biscuits and a pile of shredded wheat. Thank goodness I was using one of my "for special company only" crystal bowls, I was able to overcome my disappointment and continue on with my special "I owe it to myself" breakfast.
Even with the sun glistening all around my bowl, the cereal looked lost. I decided to add in some raisins. I opened up the cupboard door and lift out the canister of raisins. When I lifted off the lid I found a single raisin residing inside. I added this pitiful contribution to my bowl.
Still determined to have a full bowl of food, I headed for my supply of nuts. Apparently the gerbils had called dibs on all but four almonds and a bunch of walnut dust.
You might think that having an almost empty cereal bowl and an over-loaded trash bag would have dampened my resolve, but it didn't. I looked at my beautiful bowl with its meager contents and headed to the refrigerator for some milk. Yep, you guessed it. The bottle held about an eyedropper full of milk.
For years I overlooked potato chip bags with two chips in them, ice cream container with only a spoonful left and empty Tastykake boxes left on the shelf telling myself, "It's for the best... I didn't need the calories".
I have replaced empty toilet tissue rolls and tissue boxes with a sigh..."It's all in a day work".
I tried to be a good sport when I went to the refrigerator for some lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers to make a salad for Sunday dinner and found the crisper empty leaving me no alternative but run out in the pouring rain in my church clothes to collect some from the garden.
When I found the shampoo bottle empty and was forced to use hand soap to wash my hair, did I complain? Okay, I did. But who could blame me...my hair ended up looking like straw.
Will someone kindly explain this phenomenon to me? Is this a question of nature versus nurture? Am I expecting too much from the men in my life... are they incapable of throwing things away by themselves?
I threw the contents of my cereal bowl out to the birds and decide to take a walk to ponder these questions. I guess I just subconsciously headed to your house looking for the answers. You are living in an all male household… I was hoping you could reassure me that my guys will outgrow this behavior.
You poor baby… I know how you feel. When my sons were little I always knew what I had on hand, but ever since they became teenagers everything in the house mysteriously disappears.
Alisa, you never had your special breakfast…let me make you an omelet.
ALRIGHT…WHO LEFT THE EMPTY EGG CARTON IN THE REFRIGERATOR?
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Strength of Thousands
Put the kettle on Bella Nonna have I got a story to tell you!
Bernadette, it is 3:00 am!
I know Bella Nonna, I am sorry to wake you so early but I can’t sleep. I am too… blah… how can I describe it? I’m upset, guilty, excited, shook-up, and pissed-off… AACK my adrenaline is pumping so fast. I ran all the way here.
Okay Bernadette calm down I will make us some… I can’t think straight…decaf, definitely something decaffeinated. It is 3:00 in the morning… you do know most people are asleep at 3:00 am.
You ran here?...In all this snow? It’s snowing, you do know it is snowing?
Yes, yes I know but wait until you hear what just happened to me. You sit down and I will make the tea. Do you mind if I get something to eat? All this excitement has given me such an appetite.
No dear, help yourself.
Bella Nonna, you know how you hear stories of people being able to lift cars off of their love ones, scale a five story building to rescue someone from a burning building and swimming through raging currents to rescue a drowning person. I was always a little skeptical about the real facts. I believed people possess the ability to do extraordinary things when faced with a crisis, but to have the strength of thousands... I didn't think so.
Well this morning at 2:15 am I became a true believer in that fact. My guys were all sound asleep in their beds and it had been snowing for over two hours. I had just finished folding the last load of laundry. As I sat there watching the snow fall, enjoying all the peace and quiet, I thought of poor Patrick having to shovel all the snow off the walk and his car before going into work. So I decided to shovel the walkway down to the car before going to bed.
I took the laundry upstairs and checked on the children to make sure they were all safe and sound in their beds.... you know my kids, they have a habit of escaping from their beds and ending up under someone else.
You don’t have to tell me Bernadette… I remember frantically searching for Bridget for over fifteen minutes last year when I babysat for you. I no sooner got her back to sleep and the twins disappeared out of their beds and I found them asleep under your bed.
I am sorry for giggling Bella Nonna… I know how frightened you were. We should have warned you.
Okay back to my story. I donned my hat and gloves and headed out to shovel the walkway. I left the front door slightly ajar so I could hear if one of the kids got up... wait, my father just sat bolt upright in bed. He is screaming at my mother, “Saints preserve us Elizabeth that child of ours is heating the whole outside!” I had the kerosene heater on low in the living room to keep the house warm... besides our bedroom windows let out more heat than that.
Bernadette!... a lit kerosene heater in the house… unattended! Sorry I think I just channeled your mother. Go ahead with your story.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was shoveling away and every fifteen minutes or so I would pop my head inside to check on things. I had been at it for an hour and was just about to quit when I saw Timmy standing in front of the living room window. As I was scurrying up the walk to the front door, Timmy slammed it shut. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard him push the dead bolt closed. At three and a half years old, Timmy has the ability to close the dead bolt but lacks the ability to OPEN the dead bolt.
"Timmy," I pleaded, "Push the latch up."
"What Mommy?"
"Turn the leaver up!" I screamed.
I could hear Timmy's playful giggles from behind the door. I peeked in the front window and could just about see Timmy by the door. I also spied the kerosene heater still on inside our fake fireplace. I started to panic inside.
"TIMMY, GO GET DADDY FOR ME!" I screamed.
"Daddy 'leeping," Timmy happily informed me.
"I know honey... WAKE HIM UP!" I called, still trying to keep my eye on Timmy from outside the front window.
I saw Timmy head up the steps to get Patrick. I waited for what seemed like an eternity... no Patrick or Timmy. I started to panic... I HAD to get Patrick up. I threw a snowball at our bedroom window... nothing. I threw some pebbles... nothing. I threw a rock at the aluminum siding that was around the window near his side of the bed... STILL NOTHING! I ran back to the front door, pounding and screaming for Patrick. I looked in the front window, no Timmy...I ran around the side of the house to look in the dining room window, no one. I ran around the back of the house and pounded on the kitchen door, nothing. I ran back around to the front of the house... more pounding and screaming. Frantic, I started heaving huge clumps of dirt at my nice clean bedroom windows. With every thwack of the massive clumps of dirt that hit the windows, one of the snowflake decorations I taped to the window fell ... still nothing. Somewhere between the fifth or sixth clump, I looked up and saw Timmy standing at the front window laughing with delight at my antics. As I approached the front window, Timmy took one of the throw pillows off the couch, spun around and flung it at the window. Totally delighted with himself he proceeded to get another... despite my frantic pleading, "GET YOUR DADDY NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?
This was it... do or die time! Something had to be done. If he missed the window and the pillow hit the heater... I'm getting palpitations just thinking about it.
I had to get Timmy away from the front door so I bribed him. I told him to go get Maggie and Bridget. I said they would like to have fun too and that I would make hot chocolate for all of them when I got back inside. I told him to run as fast as his little legs could carry him and get them for me now.
I watched as Timmy scurried up the steps and with one mighty blow I busted the door open! It swung back against the wall so hard that the doorknob punched a hole in it. Wood, bricks and plaster covered the floor. I had ripped the doorjamb completely out of the wall. As I stood there surveying the damage, the girls came running down the steps.
"Mommy... what happened?" Maggie asked wide-eyed looking at the mess on the floor.
"What the H... is going on down there?" Patrick bellowed from our bedroom.
"It's just me. I got locked out and had to break in the door," I nonchalantly replied.
"Oh, okay... tell the kids to keep it down. I have to go to work tomorrow."
I told Patrick that he should call off work today because we have a little problem with the front door.
"Problem," Patrick mumbled as he headed down the stairs.
He stood at the foot of the steps, blinking in disbelief. "What happened?"
I explained how I was shoveling the walkway and got locked out. Timmy woke up and I tried to wake him up to let me in. The kerosene heater was on and I was afraid Tim might get hurt.
I could see Patrick’s nostrils start to flare. I thought he was about to blow his top so I went into hyper mode.
I stared straight at him and in my best you don’t want to mess with me voice I said, “I tried my best to wake you... just look at our bedroom windows and you'll see how hard. I know you heard me!"
Patrick didn't say another word. I'm not sure if he was in shock, still half asleep or scared to death of me... I did just Kung Foo in a solid wooden door!
"Look, the dead bolt worked, it is still locked," I nervously giggled. “Wouldn't this make a great commercial?"
Patrick just kept staring at all the rubble. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry… so I made hot chocolate for everyone and cleaned up most the debris while Patrick went to the garage and got a huge piece of plastic to cover the gaping hole left by the missing doorjamb.
Thankfully we are able to close the door. I tucked everyone in bed again and tried to go to sleep but I just can’t... you would think having the strength of thousands would take a lot out of a girl...but I feel like I could climb a mountain.
Oh my goodness Bernadette, it sounds like you had quite a night. I am so relieved that everyone is alright. Is the house warm enough? Do you need any help with the house or the children?
Everything is fine for right now. The hole is sealed up and everyone was asleep when I left. I feel a little guilty that I woke you up.
Don’t give it another thought. I will just chalk it up to my learning another life lesson. The next time someone tells me they do not believe a person could possess the strength of a thousand people; I will tell them your story.
And if they don’t believe you, just send them down to me… I will have the repair bills to prove it!
Bernadette, it is 3:00 am!
I know Bella Nonna, I am sorry to wake you so early but I can’t sleep. I am too… blah… how can I describe it? I’m upset, guilty, excited, shook-up, and pissed-off… AACK my adrenaline is pumping so fast. I ran all the way here.
Okay Bernadette calm down I will make us some… I can’t think straight…decaf, definitely something decaffeinated. It is 3:00 in the morning… you do know most people are asleep at 3:00 am.
You ran here?...In all this snow? It’s snowing, you do know it is snowing?
Yes, yes I know but wait until you hear what just happened to me. You sit down and I will make the tea. Do you mind if I get something to eat? All this excitement has given me such an appetite.
No dear, help yourself.
Bella Nonna, you know how you hear stories of people being able to lift cars off of their love ones, scale a five story building to rescue someone from a burning building and swimming through raging currents to rescue a drowning person. I was always a little skeptical about the real facts. I believed people possess the ability to do extraordinary things when faced with a crisis, but to have the strength of thousands... I didn't think so.
Well this morning at 2:15 am I became a true believer in that fact. My guys were all sound asleep in their beds and it had been snowing for over two hours. I had just finished folding the last load of laundry. As I sat there watching the snow fall, enjoying all the peace and quiet, I thought of poor Patrick having to shovel all the snow off the walk and his car before going into work. So I decided to shovel the walkway down to the car before going to bed.
I took the laundry upstairs and checked on the children to make sure they were all safe and sound in their beds.... you know my kids, they have a habit of escaping from their beds and ending up under someone else.
You don’t have to tell me Bernadette… I remember frantically searching for Bridget for over fifteen minutes last year when I babysat for you. I no sooner got her back to sleep and the twins disappeared out of their beds and I found them asleep under your bed.
I am sorry for giggling Bella Nonna… I know how frightened you were. We should have warned you.
Okay back to my story. I donned my hat and gloves and headed out to shovel the walkway. I left the front door slightly ajar so I could hear if one of the kids got up... wait, my father just sat bolt upright in bed. He is screaming at my mother, “Saints preserve us Elizabeth that child of ours is heating the whole outside!” I had the kerosene heater on low in the living room to keep the house warm... besides our bedroom windows let out more heat than that.
Bernadette!... a lit kerosene heater in the house… unattended! Sorry I think I just channeled your mother. Go ahead with your story.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was shoveling away and every fifteen minutes or so I would pop my head inside to check on things. I had been at it for an hour and was just about to quit when I saw Timmy standing in front of the living room window. As I was scurrying up the walk to the front door, Timmy slammed it shut. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard him push the dead bolt closed. At three and a half years old, Timmy has the ability to close the dead bolt but lacks the ability to OPEN the dead bolt.
"Timmy," I pleaded, "Push the latch up."
"What Mommy?"
"Turn the leaver up!" I screamed.
I could hear Timmy's playful giggles from behind the door. I peeked in the front window and could just about see Timmy by the door. I also spied the kerosene heater still on inside our fake fireplace. I started to panic inside.
"TIMMY, GO GET DADDY FOR ME!" I screamed.
"Daddy 'leeping," Timmy happily informed me.
"I know honey... WAKE HIM UP!" I called, still trying to keep my eye on Timmy from outside the front window.
I saw Timmy head up the steps to get Patrick. I waited for what seemed like an eternity... no Patrick or Timmy. I started to panic... I HAD to get Patrick up. I threw a snowball at our bedroom window... nothing. I threw some pebbles... nothing. I threw a rock at the aluminum siding that was around the window near his side of the bed... STILL NOTHING! I ran back to the front door, pounding and screaming for Patrick. I looked in the front window, no Timmy...I ran around the side of the house to look in the dining room window, no one. I ran around the back of the house and pounded on the kitchen door, nothing. I ran back around to the front of the house... more pounding and screaming. Frantic, I started heaving huge clumps of dirt at my nice clean bedroom windows. With every thwack of the massive clumps of dirt that hit the windows, one of the snowflake decorations I taped to the window fell ... still nothing. Somewhere between the fifth or sixth clump, I looked up and saw Timmy standing at the front window laughing with delight at my antics. As I approached the front window, Timmy took one of the throw pillows off the couch, spun around and flung it at the window. Totally delighted with himself he proceeded to get another... despite my frantic pleading, "GET YOUR DADDY NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?
This was it... do or die time! Something had to be done. If he missed the window and the pillow hit the heater... I'm getting palpitations just thinking about it.
I had to get Timmy away from the front door so I bribed him. I told him to go get Maggie and Bridget. I said they would like to have fun too and that I would make hot chocolate for all of them when I got back inside. I told him to run as fast as his little legs could carry him and get them for me now.
I watched as Timmy scurried up the steps and with one mighty blow I busted the door open! It swung back against the wall so hard that the doorknob punched a hole in it. Wood, bricks and plaster covered the floor. I had ripped the doorjamb completely out of the wall. As I stood there surveying the damage, the girls came running down the steps.
"Mommy... what happened?" Maggie asked wide-eyed looking at the mess on the floor.
"What the H... is going on down there?" Patrick bellowed from our bedroom.
"It's just me. I got locked out and had to break in the door," I nonchalantly replied.
"Oh, okay... tell the kids to keep it down. I have to go to work tomorrow."
I told Patrick that he should call off work today because we have a little problem with the front door.
"Problem," Patrick mumbled as he headed down the stairs.
He stood at the foot of the steps, blinking in disbelief. "What happened?"
I explained how I was shoveling the walkway and got locked out. Timmy woke up and I tried to wake him up to let me in. The kerosene heater was on and I was afraid Tim might get hurt.
I could see Patrick’s nostrils start to flare. I thought he was about to blow his top so I went into hyper mode.
I stared straight at him and in my best you don’t want to mess with me voice I said, “I tried my best to wake you... just look at our bedroom windows and you'll see how hard. I know you heard me!"
Patrick didn't say another word. I'm not sure if he was in shock, still half asleep or scared to death of me... I did just Kung Foo in a solid wooden door!
"Look, the dead bolt worked, it is still locked," I nervously giggled. “Wouldn't this make a great commercial?"
Patrick just kept staring at all the rubble. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry… so I made hot chocolate for everyone and cleaned up most the debris while Patrick went to the garage and got a huge piece of plastic to cover the gaping hole left by the missing doorjamb.
Thankfully we are able to close the door. I tucked everyone in bed again and tried to go to sleep but I just can’t... you would think having the strength of thousands would take a lot out of a girl...but I feel like I could climb a mountain.
Oh my goodness Bernadette, it sounds like you had quite a night. I am so relieved that everyone is alright. Is the house warm enough? Do you need any help with the house or the children?
Everything is fine for right now. The hole is sealed up and everyone was asleep when I left. I feel a little guilty that I woke you up.
Don’t give it another thought. I will just chalk it up to my learning another life lesson. The next time someone tells me they do not believe a person could possess the strength of a thousand people; I will tell them your story.
And if they don’t believe you, just send them down to me… I will have the repair bills to prove it!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Never Say Diet
Welcome back. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.
Everyone at Harmony Hill was busy celebrating with their family and friends; we hardly had time to talk. Time passes so quickly, it is hard to believe tomorrow is New Year’s Eve.
Please come in. My niece Emily and her three sons are staying with me tonight because her husband David has to work the night shift.
Harmony Hill is a very peaceful place, but sometime all that quite can get a little bit creepy. Besides, we love to spend time with my Aunt… and all her goodies. The boys are asleep upstairs and we were just about to have a pig-out fest and watch an old movie. Please join us.
Would anyone like something to eat? I have plenty of leftover soup, manicotti, turkey…
I don’t know about the two of you Bella Nonna, but I have eaten enough of your delicious food in the past few days I could fast for the rest of the month. I can’t believe another New Year’s Eve approaches and I am faced with the same old resolution… this year I am definitely taking off these extra pounds. If I could lose fifteen or twenty pounds I would be so happy. I am starting a serious diet plan with plenty of exercise as soon as the holiday leftovers are gone.
If no one wants food, I am ready to watch the movie. I have already poured my coffee and gotten my goodies. Help yourselves to cookies and candy. There is some chocolate cake and a whiskey cake in the refrigerator. I put the nut tray and cheese platter on the coffee table already. Here use the Christmas dinner plate, they hold more. I’ll go upstairs and check on the boys for you Emily while you two get ready to watch the movie.
The boys are fast asleep and I let Lolly out for her final bathroom break.
Have you met Lolly? She is my lazy little Yorkie. She’s a very old puppy, aren’t you girl? Richard gave her to me eleven years ago on Christmas Eve. She has always been a lazy little lump of fur… my sons would try to get her to play or do tricks but she preferred to lounge in her bed and look cute. I named her Lolly; it is an acronym for… Love Our Lazy Little Yorkie.
Are you ready to watch the movie?
Yes Bella Nonna, all set. I am going to have a cup of coffee and only three cookies… of each kind of cookie you baked… I promise I am definitely going to start cutting down the first of the year!
What movie are we going to watch?
Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol”, if that is okay with you. They have remade this movie so many times, but I always watch the version with Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge. I watched it years ago for the first time with my Granny and now it has become one of my favorite holiday rituals. Have you ever seen this version before?
I have seen cartoon versions of “A Christmas Carol”, but never one with live people Bella Nonna.
I think you are going to enjoy this movie. Is everyone comfy? Here is an afghan to snuggle under. I am going to dim the lights and start the movie.
I love this version of the movie Bella Nonna. I am going to buy the DVD so I can watch it with my boys next Christmas and start a holiday tradition with them… or maybe we could all watch it together.
Bella Nonna… oops looks like they both fell asleep. It is just you and me Lolly. Do you want to snuggle under the afghan with me? Fine stay in your bed… more room for me in the recliner.
What was that crash in the kitchen? Wake up Lolly; let’s go see what it is. Fine, you keep on sleeping you lumpy little animal, I’ll go check it out.
There is a plump gentleman raiding the refrigerator! He looks like Santa or maybe Dom DeLuise.
Excuse me sir, would you like me to fix you something to eat?
Nah, I can fend for myself. Your tomato sauce could use a little more garlic though.
My Aunt cooks for a lot of people over the Christmas Holidays and some of them do not like a lot of garlic in their sauce. She has homemade garlic powder in her spice rack… and hot pepper flakes if you would like some.
Do you mind if I nuke some turkey and stuffing… Ooohh, you made escarole soup. Where do you keep your soup bowls? What kind of cake is that… whiskey or rum?
It’s a whiskey cake. I hate to bother you when you are eating… but who are you and why are you raiding my Aunt’s refrigerator?
Oh how rude of me… the name is Librae, I am the ghost of diets past. Let me finish my snack and we will be on our way.
ON OUR WAY! I can’t leave…my children are asleep upstairs
We will only be gone a few minutes. They will be fine, they have Lolly for protection.
Yeah right… you broke into the house, made yourself a four course dinner and she hasn’t moved a muscle… some protection.
What if my Aunt wakes up while I am gone? She will be worried sick, besides I am right in the middle of a movie.
Come on… there might be cheesecake.
Well… my Aunt didn’t have time to make a cheesecake this Christmas. Do you promise me we will only be gone a few minutes?
Yes, now take my hand.
This is the living room of my childhood home. My brother, sister, two cousins and I are running around the Christmas tree playing with the old train set. I can’t believe how cute we are. My parents are sitting at the dining room table eating and chatting away with my Aunt and Uncle. How can this be? I…
Look at you… were you planning to go on a diet after the holidays?
Of course not! I am too young to go on a diet… I didn’t even know what being fat meant. Why, did I look fat?
Heavens no…I want to know what you see when you look at that little girl. Let’s get going.
Wait can’t I watch a little longer?
I thought you were in a hurry to get back home.
Yes, thank you Librae for showing me this… I am ready to go home.
Hang onto your slipper socks Emily.
Hey, this isn’t my Aunt’s house… it is the nurse’s office at my old high school. Why in the world did you bring me here Librae?
Just watch.
It’s me with Peachy and Brenda, my two best friends for high school. Wow, look how young we are. I would give anything to have that complexion and figure back. I remember that day… we are in the nurse’s office to have our annual height and weight check-up… I hated those things. I’m getting queasy thinking about it. My heart would pound in my chest like a bass drum waiting for Nurse Horn to move the big weigh thingy from the 150 lb slot to the 100 lb slot. Did she really have to fling the other little weight thingy so hard to the 49 lb mark and give me a leer… the skinny little… nurse? I got the picture, another pound or two and it wouldn’t be necessary to move the big weight thingy.
So, you think you looked pretty cute back then… no real need to go on a diet?
I had a few pounds of baby fat I needed to lose, but I really didn’t need to go on a diet. Why, are you saying I looked fat back then?
Heck no… this is all about what you think.
Hold on tight Emily and pay close attention, we are going to be moving fast over the next decade or two. Ready?
Let’s not and say we did…
Whoa the years are whizzing by…
Look, that is my wedding day, I only weighed 118 pound.
That is a year after Davy was born I was able to get down to 134 pound
My 29th birthday, I weighed 156 pound…I was so depressed.
See, I managed to get down to 126 pound by my 30th birthday.
My 15th high school reunion… I only ate 1000 calories a day for weeks to fit into that dress.
Hey, that is last New Year’s Eve; I promised myself I would be under 150 lb by this New Years.
Okay...enough already take me back to my Aunt’s!
Thank you. Man I’m out of breath and a little nauseated.
Well?
I know… I know instead of losing weight I put more on.
No, what did you learn from our little trip?
All those years I worried about being fat when I really wasn’t all that heavy. If I could weigh now what I weighed then I’d be happy… even 156 pounds would be great. I am going to skip the cheesecake Librae, but you help yourself to some more food. I will be right back; I am going to check on the boys.
Everyone is safe and sound asleep. Thank you so much for the trip Librae, I had a blast. Librae… are you in the kitchen? Hmmm…the kitchen is spotless and there is nothing missing out of the refrigerator. Could I have dreamt the whole thing? No more eating late for me. I should go to bed and get a good night’s rest. Let me say good night to Bella Nonna and her guest.
Bella Nonna, are you still asleep in the family room? You are not going to believe the dream I just...
What the… there is a little old lady asleep in the rocking chair!
Excuse me Ma’am… who are you and where is my Aunt and her guest?
Oh my goodness I must have dozed off. Hello dear I am Sarafina; I am the ghost of diets future.
What, no ghost of diets present?
Dear, you said you weren’t ready to diet right now… so there is not a ghost of a chance for a diet present. So let’s get this show on the road. Take my hand and we will be off.
I guess there is no chance of my changing your mind by offering you a little tea and cookies…
Nope…give me your hand… we have a lot to see and little time.
Is that my grandmother? She looks so young.
No silly, it is you sitting on that plush couch reading to your four adorable little grandchildren.
Four grandbabies…it's a good thing I have a large lap.
Yes it is... no one has to fight over who gets to sit on your lap and who gets to sit next to you. You have room for them all.
You know... I really don't look fat... I look like a REAL granny should look... don't you think?
Indeed I do Dear. Are you ready to move on?"
Not really. I'd love to cuddle with those babies, but I know we should be getting back.
Not back... in to the future. Hang on to your bloomers Deary.
For a little old lady, you sure move fast.
What a cozy little bedroom. Oh… there is a frail little woman sitting in that rocking chair looking out the window at some birds eating out of a birdfeeder on a tree in the yard. We better get out of here before she sees us. Too late here comes a middle-aged woman carrying a tray of food.
Hide before we get caught.
Good Morning Emily. How are you feeling today?
I'm feeling fine Cathy and you?
I am so bloated... I ate so much over the holidays... I really need to go on a diet.
Enjoy your food while you can Cathy. When you get as old as I am you find food doesn't agree with you like it used to. It's funny... how many times I wished I could lose weight and now I'd give anything to be able to put on a few pounds.
Whoa… that little old lady is ME? I'd gladly give her... me... some of THESE pounds right now!"
Shush… or you will miss something important.
Sorry... I guess I am right... no one ever listens to me... including ME. I think I get what you are trying to say Sarafina.
I sure hope so.
Are we traveling back to the present? Sarafina your hand is slip out of mine.
I am going to fall…
Don’t be afraid.
I can’t see you, but I can feel your warm presence. Are you God?
Just watch and learn.
It is me tilling the garden.
See... If weighed 125 pounds, you wouldn't be able the handle the tiller.you
It’s me carrying in the groceries. We sure go through a lot of food. I usually have to make five or six trips out to the car to get them all in the house.
Aren't you glad you ate a good breakfast? You had enough energy to buy those groceries, carry them into the house, put them all away and then make dinner.
There I am planting the apple tree Bella Nonna gave me two years because David doesn’t like to get dirty… to tell you the truth, I don’t think he could do it. Look how hard I have to jump on the shovel to drive it deep into the hard soil. You need to make the hole big enough for the tree's roots to spread out and grow.
Those extra few pounds came in pretty handy digging through that hard clay soil.
That was last Summer when I let my sister-in-law Pauline talk me into letting my three sons tube down the Brandywine with her two kids. I didn’t think my guys were old enough, but David kept protesting, “You got to let them grow up sometime… you baby them too much.” So against my better judgment I let them go. The current was too strong for them and it started to take the boys too far down stream. I had to dive in and pull them back to shore because David and his brother Mike were sound asleep and Pauline couldn’t swim.
Thank goodness you weren't a 110 pound weakling... you were able to swim after them and bring them safely back to shore.
I know…the water had gotten so deep that my feet didn’t even touch the bottom. I had to get all the children to hold onto each other’s inner tubes while I paddled to shore shoving all five of them at once… they could have drowned.
H'OUT... H'OUT... H'OUT.
Excuse me... I don't understand. What do you mean by Hout?
I’m sorry Emily; did Lolly wake you? She is asking to go out.
After the movie ended, I tried to gently wake the two of you to get you to go upstairs but you were sleeping so soundly I decided to just let you sleep.
I just woke up about fifteen minutes ago to start breakfast. I guess the smell of bacon woke Lolly up and she needs “h’out”.
I have been asleep down here all night?
Yes Emily.
I didn’t go anywhere… no one came…
What?
Never mind Bella Nonna…I think I am still a little groggy. I am going upstairs to take a shower and check on the boys.
Alright Emily, we will have breakfast when you come back down.
Hmm…no sign of any one being here, everything look normal. Nothing has changed ... except... my reflection in the hallway mirror. Somehow during the night I became a little lighter... my fat bulges are more like soft curves. I never noticed that my full face and double chin gives me a sweeter more loving expression. I don’t look like a supermodel... but I do look like a supermom... able to feed a family of five on a single paycheck...sort a load of smelly socks without passing out... able to catch up to the trash men lugging two over-stuffed bargain trash bag and not have them tear. I can stop three rambunctious boys from battling over a toy with a single stare and find lost car keys at moment’s notice.
I'm not sure what really happened during the night... but I'm glad it did!
Everyone at Harmony Hill was busy celebrating with their family and friends; we hardly had time to talk. Time passes so quickly, it is hard to believe tomorrow is New Year’s Eve.
Please come in. My niece Emily and her three sons are staying with me tonight because her husband David has to work the night shift.
Harmony Hill is a very peaceful place, but sometime all that quite can get a little bit creepy. Besides, we love to spend time with my Aunt… and all her goodies. The boys are asleep upstairs and we were just about to have a pig-out fest and watch an old movie. Please join us.
Would anyone like something to eat? I have plenty of leftover soup, manicotti, turkey…
I don’t know about the two of you Bella Nonna, but I have eaten enough of your delicious food in the past few days I could fast for the rest of the month. I can’t believe another New Year’s Eve approaches and I am faced with the same old resolution… this year I am definitely taking off these extra pounds. If I could lose fifteen or twenty pounds I would be so happy. I am starting a serious diet plan with plenty of exercise as soon as the holiday leftovers are gone.
If no one wants food, I am ready to watch the movie. I have already poured my coffee and gotten my goodies. Help yourselves to cookies and candy. There is some chocolate cake and a whiskey cake in the refrigerator. I put the nut tray and cheese platter on the coffee table already. Here use the Christmas dinner plate, they hold more. I’ll go upstairs and check on the boys for you Emily while you two get ready to watch the movie.
The boys are fast asleep and I let Lolly out for her final bathroom break.
Have you met Lolly? She is my lazy little Yorkie. She’s a very old puppy, aren’t you girl? Richard gave her to me eleven years ago on Christmas Eve. She has always been a lazy little lump of fur… my sons would try to get her to play or do tricks but she preferred to lounge in her bed and look cute. I named her Lolly; it is an acronym for… Love Our Lazy Little Yorkie.
Are you ready to watch the movie?
Yes Bella Nonna, all set. I am going to have a cup of coffee and only three cookies… of each kind of cookie you baked… I promise I am definitely going to start cutting down the first of the year!
What movie are we going to watch?
Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol”, if that is okay with you. They have remade this movie so many times, but I always watch the version with Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge. I watched it years ago for the first time with my Granny and now it has become one of my favorite holiday rituals. Have you ever seen this version before?
I have seen cartoon versions of “A Christmas Carol”, but never one with live people Bella Nonna.
I think you are going to enjoy this movie. Is everyone comfy? Here is an afghan to snuggle under. I am going to dim the lights and start the movie.
I love this version of the movie Bella Nonna. I am going to buy the DVD so I can watch it with my boys next Christmas and start a holiday tradition with them… or maybe we could all watch it together.
Bella Nonna… oops looks like they both fell asleep. It is just you and me Lolly. Do you want to snuggle under the afghan with me? Fine stay in your bed… more room for me in the recliner.
What was that crash in the kitchen? Wake up Lolly; let’s go see what it is. Fine, you keep on sleeping you lumpy little animal, I’ll go check it out.
There is a plump gentleman raiding the refrigerator! He looks like Santa or maybe Dom DeLuise.
Excuse me sir, would you like me to fix you something to eat?
Nah, I can fend for myself. Your tomato sauce could use a little more garlic though.
My Aunt cooks for a lot of people over the Christmas Holidays and some of them do not like a lot of garlic in their sauce. She has homemade garlic powder in her spice rack… and hot pepper flakes if you would like some.
Do you mind if I nuke some turkey and stuffing… Ooohh, you made escarole soup. Where do you keep your soup bowls? What kind of cake is that… whiskey or rum?
It’s a whiskey cake. I hate to bother you when you are eating… but who are you and why are you raiding my Aunt’s refrigerator?
Oh how rude of me… the name is Librae, I am the ghost of diets past. Let me finish my snack and we will be on our way.
ON OUR WAY! I can’t leave…my children are asleep upstairs
We will only be gone a few minutes. They will be fine, they have Lolly for protection.
Yeah right… you broke into the house, made yourself a four course dinner and she hasn’t moved a muscle… some protection.
What if my Aunt wakes up while I am gone? She will be worried sick, besides I am right in the middle of a movie.
Come on… there might be cheesecake.
Well… my Aunt didn’t have time to make a cheesecake this Christmas. Do you promise me we will only be gone a few minutes?
Yes, now take my hand.
This is the living room of my childhood home. My brother, sister, two cousins and I are running around the Christmas tree playing with the old train set. I can’t believe how cute we are. My parents are sitting at the dining room table eating and chatting away with my Aunt and Uncle. How can this be? I…
Look at you… were you planning to go on a diet after the holidays?
Of course not! I am too young to go on a diet… I didn’t even know what being fat meant. Why, did I look fat?
Heavens no…I want to know what you see when you look at that little girl. Let’s get going.
Wait can’t I watch a little longer?
I thought you were in a hurry to get back home.
Yes, thank you Librae for showing me this… I am ready to go home.
Hang onto your slipper socks Emily.
Hey, this isn’t my Aunt’s house… it is the nurse’s office at my old high school. Why in the world did you bring me here Librae?
Just watch.
It’s me with Peachy and Brenda, my two best friends for high school. Wow, look how young we are. I would give anything to have that complexion and figure back. I remember that day… we are in the nurse’s office to have our annual height and weight check-up… I hated those things. I’m getting queasy thinking about it. My heart would pound in my chest like a bass drum waiting for Nurse Horn to move the big weigh thingy from the 150 lb slot to the 100 lb slot. Did she really have to fling the other little weight thingy so hard to the 49 lb mark and give me a leer… the skinny little… nurse? I got the picture, another pound or two and it wouldn’t be necessary to move the big weight thingy.
So, you think you looked pretty cute back then… no real need to go on a diet?
I had a few pounds of baby fat I needed to lose, but I really didn’t need to go on a diet. Why, are you saying I looked fat back then?
Heck no… this is all about what you think.
Hold on tight Emily and pay close attention, we are going to be moving fast over the next decade or two. Ready?
Let’s not and say we did…
Whoa the years are whizzing by…
Look, that is my wedding day, I only weighed 118 pound.
That is a year after Davy was born I was able to get down to 134 pound
My 29th birthday, I weighed 156 pound…I was so depressed.
See, I managed to get down to 126 pound by my 30th birthday.
My 15th high school reunion… I only ate 1000 calories a day for weeks to fit into that dress.
Hey, that is last New Year’s Eve; I promised myself I would be under 150 lb by this New Years.
Okay...enough already take me back to my Aunt’s!
Thank you. Man I’m out of breath and a little nauseated.
Well?
I know… I know instead of losing weight I put more on.
No, what did you learn from our little trip?
All those years I worried about being fat when I really wasn’t all that heavy. If I could weigh now what I weighed then I’d be happy… even 156 pounds would be great. I am going to skip the cheesecake Librae, but you help yourself to some more food. I will be right back; I am going to check on the boys.
Everyone is safe and sound asleep. Thank you so much for the trip Librae, I had a blast. Librae… are you in the kitchen? Hmmm…the kitchen is spotless and there is nothing missing out of the refrigerator. Could I have dreamt the whole thing? No more eating late for me. I should go to bed and get a good night’s rest. Let me say good night to Bella Nonna and her guest.
Bella Nonna, are you still asleep in the family room? You are not going to believe the dream I just...
What the… there is a little old lady asleep in the rocking chair!
Excuse me Ma’am… who are you and where is my Aunt and her guest?
Oh my goodness I must have dozed off. Hello dear I am Sarafina; I am the ghost of diets future.
What, no ghost of diets present?
Dear, you said you weren’t ready to diet right now… so there is not a ghost of a chance for a diet present. So let’s get this show on the road. Take my hand and we will be off.
I guess there is no chance of my changing your mind by offering you a little tea and cookies…
Nope…give me your hand… we have a lot to see and little time.
Is that my grandmother? She looks so young.
No silly, it is you sitting on that plush couch reading to your four adorable little grandchildren.
Four grandbabies…it's a good thing I have a large lap.
Yes it is... no one has to fight over who gets to sit on your lap and who gets to sit next to you. You have room for them all.
You know... I really don't look fat... I look like a REAL granny should look... don't you think?
Indeed I do Dear. Are you ready to move on?"
Not really. I'd love to cuddle with those babies, but I know we should be getting back.
Not back... in to the future. Hang on to your bloomers Deary.
For a little old lady, you sure move fast.
What a cozy little bedroom. Oh… there is a frail little woman sitting in that rocking chair looking out the window at some birds eating out of a birdfeeder on a tree in the yard. We better get out of here before she sees us. Too late here comes a middle-aged woman carrying a tray of food.
Hide before we get caught.
Good Morning Emily. How are you feeling today?
I'm feeling fine Cathy and you?
I am so bloated... I ate so much over the holidays... I really need to go on a diet.
Enjoy your food while you can Cathy. When you get as old as I am you find food doesn't agree with you like it used to. It's funny... how many times I wished I could lose weight and now I'd give anything to be able to put on a few pounds.
Whoa… that little old lady is ME? I'd gladly give her... me... some of THESE pounds right now!"
Shush… or you will miss something important.
Sorry... I guess I am right... no one ever listens to me... including ME. I think I get what you are trying to say Sarafina.
I sure hope so.
Are we traveling back to the present? Sarafina your hand is slip out of mine.
I am going to fall…
Don’t be afraid.
I can’t see you, but I can feel your warm presence. Are you God?
Just watch and learn.
It is me tilling the garden.
See... If weighed 125 pounds, you wouldn't be able the handle the tiller.you
It’s me carrying in the groceries. We sure go through a lot of food. I usually have to make five or six trips out to the car to get them all in the house.
Aren't you glad you ate a good breakfast? You had enough energy to buy those groceries, carry them into the house, put them all away and then make dinner.
There I am planting the apple tree Bella Nonna gave me two years because David doesn’t like to get dirty… to tell you the truth, I don’t think he could do it. Look how hard I have to jump on the shovel to drive it deep into the hard soil. You need to make the hole big enough for the tree's roots to spread out and grow.
Those extra few pounds came in pretty handy digging through that hard clay soil.
That was last Summer when I let my sister-in-law Pauline talk me into letting my three sons tube down the Brandywine with her two kids. I didn’t think my guys were old enough, but David kept protesting, “You got to let them grow up sometime… you baby them too much.” So against my better judgment I let them go. The current was too strong for them and it started to take the boys too far down stream. I had to dive in and pull them back to shore because David and his brother Mike were sound asleep and Pauline couldn’t swim.
Thank goodness you weren't a 110 pound weakling... you were able to swim after them and bring them safely back to shore.
I know…the water had gotten so deep that my feet didn’t even touch the bottom. I had to get all the children to hold onto each other’s inner tubes while I paddled to shore shoving all five of them at once… they could have drowned.
H'OUT... H'OUT... H'OUT.
Excuse me... I don't understand. What do you mean by Hout?
I’m sorry Emily; did Lolly wake you? She is asking to go out.
After the movie ended, I tried to gently wake the two of you to get you to go upstairs but you were sleeping so soundly I decided to just let you sleep.
I just woke up about fifteen minutes ago to start breakfast. I guess the smell of bacon woke Lolly up and she needs “h’out”.
I have been asleep down here all night?
Yes Emily.
I didn’t go anywhere… no one came…
What?
Never mind Bella Nonna…I think I am still a little groggy. I am going upstairs to take a shower and check on the boys.
Alright Emily, we will have breakfast when you come back down.
Hmm…no sign of any one being here, everything look normal. Nothing has changed ... except... my reflection in the hallway mirror. Somehow during the night I became a little lighter... my fat bulges are more like soft curves. I never noticed that my full face and double chin gives me a sweeter more loving expression. I don’t look like a supermodel... but I do look like a supermom... able to feed a family of five on a single paycheck...sort a load of smelly socks without passing out... able to catch up to the trash men lugging two over-stuffed bargain trash bag and not have them tear. I can stop three rambunctious boys from battling over a toy with a single stare and find lost car keys at moment’s notice.
I'm not sure what really happened during the night... but I'm glad it did!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I Thought It Was Forever.
I wasn't looking for fame and fortune
Or a life filled with material things
I wanted the simple things life had to offer
And the joy that they would bring
To walk through life with my beloved
Facing life's adventures, whatever they might be
To have a cozy home filled with children
And loving family
And then one day it happened
My fondest dream came true
A life filled with love and laughter
Is what I saw when I looked at you.
You told me that you loved me
And want to make my dreams come true
If only I would be patient
And put my trust in you
I gave you everything I had
My love, my soul, my life
I tried to do everything you asked of me
To be your perfect wife
The Lord blessed us with three wonderful sons
And a cozy home to make our life complete
I thought all my prayers were answered
For I was unaware of your deceit
I believed you when you told me
You loved me with all your heart
I was the one you would love and cherish
Until death us do part
Often you would abandoned me
Always leaving on some important quest
You said this would make you happy
"Believe me, it's for the best"
And so I let you have your space
To do what you had to do
I loved you with all my heart
And believed that time would see us through
The road was often rocky
My nights sometimes filled with fear
But I told myself just hang tight
One day he will again call me dear
So patiently I waited
Our babies grew into men
But nothing I did could keep
Our marriage from coming to an end
You took only the best
And left me with the useless clutter
"If you sell it, send me my half"
Is all that you did mutter
With deep sorrow I watched
As strangers picked apart my life
Reducing my dreams to pennies
It cut through me like a knife
The yard sale is over
Our dream house has been sold
Just pitch the rest of the junk
Was the advice I was told
With each useless item
I put into the trash
Went a broken promise
And the sorrow that was attached
I found myself getting stronger
I realized that this was meant to be
I know I will get through this
With God's help and my loving family
Although my journey is far from over
My path somewhat unclear
I know that I will make it
For I have survived my greatest fear
Or a life filled with material things
I wanted the simple things life had to offer
And the joy that they would bring
To walk through life with my beloved
Facing life's adventures, whatever they might be
To have a cozy home filled with children
And loving family
And then one day it happened
My fondest dream came true
A life filled with love and laughter
Is what I saw when I looked at you.
You told me that you loved me
And want to make my dreams come true
If only I would be patient
And put my trust in you
I gave you everything I had
My love, my soul, my life
I tried to do everything you asked of me
To be your perfect wife
The Lord blessed us with three wonderful sons
And a cozy home to make our life complete
I thought all my prayers were answered
For I was unaware of your deceit
I believed you when you told me
You loved me with all your heart
I was the one you would love and cherish
Until death us do part
Often you would abandoned me
Always leaving on some important quest
You said this would make you happy
"Believe me, it's for the best"
And so I let you have your space
To do what you had to do
I loved you with all my heart
And believed that time would see us through
The road was often rocky
My nights sometimes filled with fear
But I told myself just hang tight
One day he will again call me dear
So patiently I waited
Our babies grew into men
But nothing I did could keep
Our marriage from coming to an end
You took only the best
And left me with the useless clutter
"If you sell it, send me my half"
Is all that you did mutter
With deep sorrow I watched
As strangers picked apart my life
Reducing my dreams to pennies
It cut through me like a knife
The yard sale is over
Our dream house has been sold
Just pitch the rest of the junk
Was the advice I was told
With each useless item
I put into the trash
Went a broken promise
And the sorrow that was attached
I found myself getting stronger
I realized that this was meant to be
I know I will get through this
With God's help and my loving family
Although my journey is far from over
My path somewhat unclear
I know that I will make it
For I have survived my greatest fear
Why Am I So Happy?
My lot in life has been carefully drawn
From my experiences both past and present
Everything I possess is mine you see
For it is the life that I have chosen
The good, the bad, the happy and sad
I cherish with all my heart
To give one up I may lose the rest
And be left with a heart that's hard or frozen
Many think the choice I've made
Is a waste of my God given talent
I work night and day without pay
There's not a minute I truly can call my own
But I wouldn't trade one moment
No matter what the prize
To be a millionaire, a movie star
Or a queen sitting on a throne
For I am a stay-at-home mother
A vocation that has lost some respect
A life most people view as to hard
Constantly full of giving and no take
It's because I have found the secret
Handed down through generations long past
True happiness can be found when you
Sing a lullaby, play a game or bake a cake
But don't take my word for it
Take a moment out of your busy life
Let your eyes and ears be truly open
Go on your own spiritual quest
You will find the world is full of people
Each with their own secret dreams
Which they will often abandon
For a life that others think is best
At first when you look at these people
You may think that they have it all
Oh what you wouldn't give
To have all that material treasure
But do their eyes light up and shine
When they are telling you their story
Did you laugh and giggle
Was hearing it a pleasure
Then there are the full-time caregivers
One of which is known as the
Lowly stay-at-home mother
She has nothing to show for her trouble
Why you may ask isn't she out there
Getting a life and crunching the numbers
Instead of trying to teach her child
How to blow a bubble
It is because she possess the wisdom
To invest in something unique
With a payoff most people find
A little hard to comprehend
The unconditional love of a child
The joy of a life that's complete
And the contented slumber that comes
When her day finally comes to an end
They say the choice is your
As long as you agree with them and decide
To always take care of number one
Get out there, grab life, have fun
Well I have chosen to live life differently
I happily gave when others took
But instead of coming up empty
I found that my cup doth over run
I don't know if you consider my
Words to be full of wisdom
Or just some rambling from
Someone with out a clue
But when I find a quiet moment
When I'm truly alone with myself
Thoughts of family fill me with laughter
I was wondering... is it the same for you?
From my experiences both past and present
Everything I possess is mine you see
For it is the life that I have chosen
The good, the bad, the happy and sad
I cherish with all my heart
To give one up I may lose the rest
And be left with a heart that's hard or frozen
Many think the choice I've made
Is a waste of my God given talent
I work night and day without pay
There's not a minute I truly can call my own
But I wouldn't trade one moment
No matter what the prize
To be a millionaire, a movie star
Or a queen sitting on a throne
For I am a stay-at-home mother
A vocation that has lost some respect
A life most people view as to hard
Constantly full of giving and no take
It's because I have found the secret
Handed down through generations long past
True happiness can be found when you
Sing a lullaby, play a game or bake a cake
But don't take my word for it
Take a moment out of your busy life
Let your eyes and ears be truly open
Go on your own spiritual quest
You will find the world is full of people
Each with their own secret dreams
Which they will often abandon
For a life that others think is best
At first when you look at these people
You may think that they have it all
Oh what you wouldn't give
To have all that material treasure
But do their eyes light up and shine
When they are telling you their story
Did you laugh and giggle
Was hearing it a pleasure
Then there are the full-time caregivers
One of which is known as the
Lowly stay-at-home mother
She has nothing to show for her trouble
Why you may ask isn't she out there
Getting a life and crunching the numbers
Instead of trying to teach her child
How to blow a bubble
It is because she possess the wisdom
To invest in something unique
With a payoff most people find
A little hard to comprehend
The unconditional love of a child
The joy of a life that's complete
And the contented slumber that comes
When her day finally comes to an end
They say the choice is your
As long as you agree with them and decide
To always take care of number one
Get out there, grab life, have fun
Well I have chosen to live life differently
I happily gave when others took
But instead of coming up empty
I found that my cup doth over run
I don't know if you consider my
Words to be full of wisdom
Or just some rambling from
Someone with out a clue
But when I find a quiet moment
When I'm truly alone with myself
Thoughts of family fill me with laughter
I was wondering... is it the same for you?
Is Someone Listening
From the moment she first drew breath
As the outside air filled her lungs
She wanted to know if her voice was being heard
She had so much to share with this new world
And hoped someone would take the time to listen
She looked deep into the doctor's eyes
Searching for the answer
But he just handed her off to a nurse
Who quickly whisked her off to a scale.
Who quickly whisked her off to a scale.
She weighs 7 lb. 2 oz. and is 20 inches long
Eyes... blue
Hair... light
Eyes... blue
Hair... light
Frighten and cold she asked the nurse
Will you please take a moment to speak to me
What I have to say may be importance
The nurse was too efficient to take the time
Besides... it's not her job
Getting a baby's vital statistic is all she is required to do
How do you get someone to listen
Although she did her best to try
To get an answer to her question
all she could do was cry
Her cries often went unanswered
No matter what she did
So
So
She learned to just keep quiet
The years passed
Off to her first day of school she went
Hoping to learn how to communicate
Now she would learn the secret
She would finally be heard
But
Instead of giving her the answer
Instead of giving her the answer
Her teachers confirmed the terrible truth
What she needed to say was of no interest
So quietly she pondered
And lived life the best she could
For years she listened to other people's problem
As they prattled on about their lives
Always wondering when it was going to be her turn to speak
Then one day as she lies in bed
Her hair snow white against the flowered pillowcase
Too tired to ask another person
So weary from her search
Her soul still pining
For someone to just listen
I am listening
She heard as she drew her last breath
She heard as she drew her last breath
You have done well my child
Please sit down here beside me
I am anxious to hear all about it
A Child Shall Lead Them
He sits alone in the sandbox
In his world filled with impossible dreams
He has yet to learn of the sorrow
Of a world filled with treachery and schemes
He believes the world will embrace him
Even though he is crippled and small
There is room for all kinds of people
For Granny told him "God loves us all"
Some may look at this baby
So homely and exceptionally small
Their hearts may ache for his mother
Who was once the bell of the ball
Others may say it is justice
For the pain that she caused in her past
Now she will know all the misery
The queen has been dethrone at last
I watched each day as his mother
Slowly drifted away in her shell
As her baby just kept playing
Unaware of her personal hell
What do you say to a person
Who had caused you a lifetime of pain
How many nights I spent crying
Until I was physically drained
Then I watched as my own little baby
Walked over to her little son
Soon they were laughing and giggling
Two little playmates just having fun
I stood and watched in amazement
And saw what love truly can do
This world is just what you make it
It is really all up to you
Slowly I walked over to his mother
Letting my heart lead the way
Praying the Lord would give me
The words that I needed to say
I sat down on the bench beside her
And took her hand into mine
Before I could utter a word
Her eyes started to sparkle and shine
With a smile so long hidden
As a tear gently fell from her cheek
She hugged me so long and so tightly
There was no need to speak
I know that a miracle happened
Right there at the playground that day
When two cold hearts final melted
At the sight of their babies at play
In his world filled with impossible dreams
He has yet to learn of the sorrow
Of a world filled with treachery and schemes
He believes the world will embrace him
Even though he is crippled and small
There is room for all kinds of people
For Granny told him "God loves us all"
Some may look at this baby
So homely and exceptionally small
Their hearts may ache for his mother
Who was once the bell of the ball
Others may say it is justice
For the pain that she caused in her past
Now she will know all the misery
The queen has been dethrone at last
I watched each day as his mother
Slowly drifted away in her shell
As her baby just kept playing
Unaware of her personal hell
What do you say to a person
Who had caused you a lifetime of pain
How many nights I spent crying
Until I was physically drained
Then I watched as my own little baby
Walked over to her little son
Soon they were laughing and giggling
Two little playmates just having fun
I stood and watched in amazement
And saw what love truly can do
This world is just what you make it
It is really all up to you
Slowly I walked over to his mother
Letting my heart lead the way
Praying the Lord would give me
The words that I needed to say
I sat down on the bench beside her
And took her hand into mine
Before I could utter a word
Her eyes started to sparkle and shine
With a smile so long hidden
As a tear gently fell from her cheek
She hugged me so long and so tightly
There was no need to speak
I know that a miracle happened
Right there at the playground that day
When two cold hearts final melted
At the sight of their babies at play
I’m Sorry
Fight number 674
I’m sorry for the things I said
I’m sorry I wasn’t good in bed
I’m sorry for the way I look
But you have to admit I’m a fabulous cook
I’m sorry for the things you lack
I’m sorry for the youth you’ll never get back
I’m sorry I didn't know what you wanted
But when I asked you only grunted
I’m sorry I’m not all style and flash
I’m sorry you had to take out the trash
I’m sorry for the red-hot summer days
I’m sorry for my annoying ways
I’m sorry when autumn leaves fall
I’m sorry that your butts not small
I’m sorry that winter is freezing cold
I’m sorry I wasn’t strong or bold
I’m sorry for the rain in spring
Hell I’m sorry for everything
I’m sorry for all the times I cried
But at least I know I really tried
I’m sorry that we fell apart
But I will always love you with all my heart
Please Help Me Understand
Will
someone please explain war to me
Because I am unable to comprehend
How killing innocent people
Will ensure our freedom in the end
The history books are full of facts and figures
Of battles lost and won
But where is the peace and security
For the family who just buried their son
Does anyone remember watching the lottery
How we all prayed for our brother or a friend
Making God silent promises if only their
"Number" would be somewhere near the end
I saw my grandfather's eyes fill with tears
As he watched young men going off the war
He said fighting for your country is an honor
But his eyes were saying much more
When watching news clips of the "conflict"
No matter how hard I tried
I never saw the hateful enemy
Only the innocent people that had died
I would really appreciate an answer
If someone would kindly explain
Exactly how killing someone's child
Is a victory and not just unbearable pain
I ponder this while rocking my baby
My heart filled with such joy
The Lord blessed me with a miracle
Another precious baby boy
Will I be faced with the horror
Of sons being sent off to be killed
Knowing the only outcome of battle
Is innocent blood will be spilled
Do I tell my sons, "You shall not kill"
Is only a guideline for peace
You must take up arms with your brothers
Until we have slain the power-hungry beast
Please dear friends I beg you
Will you help me understand
How a nation can send our precious
Children out to kill their fellow man
If only our world leaders could see their
Angelic face with eyes so innocent and clear
They would put an end to this senseless fighting
And spread hope instead of fear
Popsicle Lady and Mr. Neighbor Man
This is for Popsicle Lady and Mr. Neighbor Man
All those special people who have touched our lives
They give their hearts so freely without a second thought
I want them all to know I think of them often
I carry them safely tucked away in my heart
All of their generous actions have not been for naught
Although their names may be different
And their love shown in unique and special ways
The world is a much better place for the compassion they have brought
WHAT IS A MOTHER?
A mother is someone who is always around
That you can go to when you are down
She spends a many sleepless night
Just to make sure that you're alright
She tries to be happy when she is blue
She never wants to trouble you
She is someone who makes you her whole life
And tries to make dad a very good wife
Sometimes she gets you so mad you could shout
But she is someone we all can't live without
She tries to teach you right from wrong
And is cheerful and gay and sings you a song
So when you are sad the thing to do
Is remember your mother will always love you
That you can go to when you are down
She spends a many sleepless night
Just to make sure that you're alright
She tries to be happy when she is blue
She never wants to trouble you
She is someone who makes you her whole life
And tries to make dad a very good wife
Sometimes she gets you so mad you could shout
But she is someone we all can't live without
She tries to teach you right from wrong
And is cheerful and gay and sings you a song
So when you are sad the thing to do
Is remember your mother will always love you
Monday, January 11, 2010
Ode To The Granny Panty
Oh wonderful granny panties
I love the way you caress my butt cheek
If I had it my way
I’d wear you every day of the week
My lacy date night panties
Look so dainty in my dresser drawer
But they are guaranteed to give me a wedgie
Before I reach my bedroom door
Those pompous fashion designers
Claim thongs give you style and class
I wonder how many of them are running around
With a string stuck up their ass
I refuse to let the fear of visible panty lines
Keep me a member of the doom and gloomers
I’m trading in my uncomfortable panties
For a pair of old-fashion bloomers
I love the way you caress my butt cheek
If I had it my way
I’d wear you every day of the week
My lacy date night panties
Look so dainty in my dresser drawer
But they are guaranteed to give me a wedgie
Before I reach my bedroom door
Those pompous fashion designers
Claim thongs give you style and class
I wonder how many of them are running around
With a string stuck up their ass
I refuse to let the fear of visible panty lines
Keep me a member of the doom and gloomers
I’m trading in my uncomfortable panties
For a pair of old-fashion bloomers
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