Harmony Hill and the wonderful people who live there are fictional.
Some of the stories they tell have been inspired by real people in my life.
I hope you enjoy my work. Most of the credit should go to my three sons
for the inspiration and spark of insanity I needed to write this entertaining blog.




Saturday, July 2, 2011

Why The Little Boy Cried Wolf

Hi, I was going through some old boxes and found this letter written long ago.  It is very interesting... would you like me to read it to you?  Okay, get comfy...

Hello, I am the grandmamma of the little boy who cried wolf and I want everyone to know the true story.  My little grandbaby cried wolf because everybody ignored him like they do me.  He is… was a sweet little boy who really needed someone to listen to him.  He thought that he wasn't very important to his family and neighbors, so he decided to get their attention by using something he knew they really cared about... the sheep. 

People got the true meaning of this story wrong!  The story is meant to teach adults the important lesson of listening to their children or something horrible will happen.  Someone edited the story to make the little boy the villain. 

The story really went something like this...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who tried his best to get his parents' attention.  He would call to them in the night when he was frightened of the monsters under his bed and they would tell him to go to sleep. "We are very tired and need our sleep.  We need to be wide awake in the morning so we can protect our sheep."

He would try to ask them questions.   "Why is the sky blue?  Where do the stars go in the morning?   Do I really have to wear this wool sweater... it's 92°F in the shade?"

Their answers to his questions were always the same. "We don't have time to answer your silly questions; we need to take care of the sheep."

Day after day the little boy tried to find some way to get his parents' love and attention.  He decided he would go out to the meadow with his parents and help them tend the sheep.  For a few days it was great.  They would talk to him for hours about the sheep.  They explained to him the importance of keeping the sheep together, where the best grass was and above all to keep a good eye out for the wolf. 

The little boy loved all this attention... even if it was all about the sheep.  He got so good at tending to the sheep, his parents decided to let him watch them all by himself. 

Once again the little boy found himself alone... and very frighten.  "What if the wolf comes and tries to eat me up?" worried the little boy.  "Would someone come and save me?"

He became more and more frightened sitting all alone in the meadow.  He thought he saw something moving in the tall grass... he could hear the wolf's heavy breathing behind the trees.  The sheep started to get anxious and began moving around.  His little heart was pounding in his chest.

 "WOLF!" the little boy shouted.  

Within seconds his parents arrived. "Where's the wolf, boy?" his father asked.  "Did you frighten him away?" his mother asked. "Did he get any of the sheep?"

The little boy was so thrilled to be getting all this attention.  He started telling them how he shouted and frightened the wolf away.  When he noticed them getting bored he embellished the story a little to keep them hanging on his every word.  Later, during dinner, his father asked to hear the story again and the little boy happily retold it.  For the first time in his life the little boy felt important.  His parents actually said they were proud of him. 

For the next few days people stop by while the boy sat alone in the meadow and ask him to tell them all about the wolf and how he kept his sheep safe... he loved all the attention.   

Unfortunately for the little boy, all great storied soon lose their appeal and once again he was all alone.  He was feeling very sorry for himself and not paying attention to the sheep.  When he was gathering them up to take them back home, he noticed two of the sheep were missing.  Frighten of what would happen to him when his parents found out, he decided he would blame it on a wolf.  He rolled around in the grass, rubbed mud on his face and messed up his hair.

"WOLF!  WOLF!  It has stolen my sheep!  Please come quickly!" exclaimed the little boy. 

His parents and a few of their nearby neighbors came rushing to the little boy's aid.   By the time the people arrived, the little boy was breathless.  He started telling them how he tried to fight off the wolf.  "I started hitting him with my staff... the sheep were frighten... two of them ran down the hill and were eaten by some wolves that were in the valley... I tried my best... I'm sorry I couldn't save all the sheep," the little boy cried.

Everyone was so happy he was able to save the rest of the flock from the wolves; they gave him a party.  The little boy loved the attention and praise he had gotten so much that he decided to cry "wolf" every few days.  He loved watching the people come running to his aid... it made him feel so important.  What the little boy didn't realize was the people were becoming suspicious and started keeping an eye on him.  They found out that he was bluffing and decided not to go to him when he called.

What they didn't realize is a pack of wolves had found the two stray sheep and eaten them.  The wolves followed their scent back to where the little boy tended his sheep and waited for a chance to attack the little boy when he was alone tending the sheep.  They watched and waited till one day the little boy cried, "WOLF!  WOLF!" and no one came. 

Within minutes the wolves were circle the sheep.  The little boy screamed, "The wolves are really here!  Please come and help me!"  Sadly no one came to his rescue! 

The wolves were able to devour the little boy along with all the sheep.

The moral of the story...

Listen to your children so they do not have to make up stories to get your attention.  That way when a real problem does come along you will be there for them and not suffer a grave loss, such as I do, every day of your life!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Life Alert

Hi Loretta, you caught me in the middle of a Murder, She Wrote marathon. 

I won't keep you Bella Nonna, I just popped in to say hi and to get away from Harvey.  He is drivin' me crazy.  Since he retired last month all he does is follow me around.  If he's not complainin' about somethin' or wantin' me to feed him, he's askin' me stupid questions.  It's like havin' a demented four-year old livin' in the house.

Come on in.  The coffee is fresh and so are the cinnamon buns.  I'll turn off the television and join you in the kitchen… unless you want to watch Murder, She Wrote for a few pointers.

Don't tempt me Bella Nonna.  I can't tell you how many times in the past month the words "Till death do us part" repeated in my head.  But we can have coffee in the family room and watch Murder, She Wrote.   I forgot there was a marathon… I really like that show too.

Great Loretta, you make yourself at home and I'll fix our snack.

Life Alert… I have a life alert for you.

What was that Loretta?

That commercial for Life Alert was just on TV.  I was just … here let me help you with that tray of delicious cinnamon buns and I'll tell you all about it.

Here's the tray… let me grab the pot of coffee Loretta so we won't have to stop in the middle of your story to refill our cups.

Okay Loretta, I'm all set.

When you were in the kitchen gettin' our snack, that commercial for those beeper things that they have for old people who live alone came on.  I was just sayin' you can be livin' in a house with a selfish husband and a zoned out son and be just as at risk.

Are you speaking hypothetically Loretta or…

I wish!  The other day they were in the livin' room watchin' one of those idiotic cartoon-type shows and I was busy cleanin' up their mess, preparin' dinner and lettin' the dog out, you know multi-taskin'… don't get me started on that.

Okay Loretta, I won't.  Would you like more coffee… another cinnamon bun?

Yes to the cinnamon bun … no to the coffee… I'll just pour a little of that cream into my coffee cup, if that's okay with you.

Help yourself.

Well as I was sayin'… I was rushin' around tryin' to get things done.  I could hear those fools laughin' their butts off in the other room so I decided to take a break.  I grabbed my flavored water and went into the livin' room to see for myself what they thought was so funny.  As I stood there watchin' those asinine cartoon characters sayin' things that I am too polite to repeat, I started to choke.  Not just a little cough, I was full out chokin' on some spittle that went down the wrong way.  I even spilled my glass of flavored water tryin' to put it down on the end table.  There I was chokin' to death… everything was going black … I could see the white light and I would have gone into it if my kitchen wasn't such a mess.  No way was I leavin' this world with my house a mess.  Can you imagine how all those tongues would be a waggin' if I did?  It took every bit of my strength, but I managed to clear my windpipe.  Weak from chokin' I flopped into my rocker.  My butt didn't even have a chance to make a dent in the cushion when Harvey asked me what was for dinner.  What was for dinner!  Can you believe it?  I nearly met my maker and all that fool cared about was his dinner!  I should've taken my cast iron fryin' pan…

I don't know if it was luck or Divine Intervention… one of those commercials for cheap life insurance came on and calmed Loretta down with thoughts of how she would spend her insurance money.

If she were to whack Harvey… could I be name as an accomplice for getting her hopped up on caffeine, sugar and Murder, She Wrote?