Dear
Little One,
I
wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
Even though I am not able to physically be there, I want you to close
your eyes and feel me hugging you.
Love
has no boundaries. I want you to know
wherever I am you can still talk to me ... any time, any place. All you have to do is think of me and I'll be
right there ready to listen ... all you have to do is talk.
Please
know that although you feel lonely and misunderstood by your parents, they
really do love you. Sometimes parents
get caught up in their adult lives and forget how to listen. They spend all their energy trying to give
you all the material things they feel you deserve that they unfortunately
forget to give you the most important thing ... their time.
My
sweet child, it breaks my heart when I think about you feeling so invisible in this
world. I know it often seems as if no
one really cares about how you are feeling or what is happening to you. People today see worry as weakness and so
your parents end up pushing you to succeed.
They want the best for you and worry they won't be able to give it to
you. They don't have all the answers and
worry you might find out and lose respect for them.
Sometimes
parents push you away when you feel you need them the most. It is not because they don't love you, it is
because sometimes your problems remind them of their past. When you are hurting, they see themselves in
your pain. When you are being bullied,
they could be reliving the pain they felt when they were bullied. Maybe they were the bully and seeing the pain
your eyes makes them feel guilty for the pain they caused someone in their
past.
Everybody
shows love in his or her own special way.
Some people can come right out in the open and show it. They aren't embarrassed to give you a hug or
tell you how proud they are of you. Some
people have trouble expressing their feelings, so they do thing for you.
I
have no trouble expressing my feelings or giving my immediate family and close
friends a big hug when they need one, but I feel uncomfortable with everyone
else … so I just bake them some sort of goodie. I guess I got that from my
father.
Let
me tell you about my dear father. When I was little, my father would take us to
fun places like amusement parks, the beach and the movies. He would tell us stories and sometimes he
would play games with us. He would fix
people’s cars and help anybody that needed him without looking for anything in
return. I loved to sit and listen to my
dad when he was chatting with family and friends. His eyes would twinkle as he told jokes and funny
stories. He was a hard worker. He was a good audience when you wanted to
tell a joke or rehearse your part in the school play, but he was very hard to
talk to when it came to expressing feelings. I always felt he was keeping me at
arms length, never letting me get too close to him.
Maybe
it was because his mother died when he was only twelve. I'll never really know,
because he died before I found the courage to ask him. My father’s death left a small hole in my
heart that I feel will never be filled. I can't imagine what it must have been
like for my dad to lose his mother at such a young age.
Sweetheart,
I know it's hard for you to understand this now, but one day you will feel a
lot differently towards your parents ... trust me. When you are all grown up,
maybe with children of your own, you will look back on these days and see your
parents in a different light. When you
hold your baby in your arms you will feel a special connection; a bond that you
have never felt before.
When
times get tough and you feel like no one cares ... remember dear, you are always
in my thoughts and prayers.
I
love you.
