Common Sense

Hello Bella Nonna, do you ever get the feeling people are losing their common sense?


Yes Alisa… more and more each day. What brought on this revelation?

This morning I was TV channel surfing and I stopped on the recipe channel when I heard that they had a top New York bakery owner willing to share her secrets to making great crusty bread. There was a scrumptious assortment on breads and rolls displayed in front of her. You know me and bread… I had no choice but to stay and watch.

She had my full attention when she explained the chemical reaction necessary for the bread to raise, the importance of the salt to flour ratio and the gluten content of each and every type of flour known to man. She had this fancy little do-hickey that gives you the exact temperature of the water… down to the thousandth degree. I was amazed; I didn’t know making a loaf of bread was so complicated. Silly me…I just made sure the yeast proofed and then continued to measure the other ingredients with reckless abandon. Heck, I even used a regular teaspoon for the salt one day because my measuring spoons were lost in my kitchen gadget drawer.

I watched as she carefully measured all her ingredients and placed them inside the mixing bowl. The mixer had a weird type of dough hook thingy. When she started the mixer not one fleck of flour escaped. I have to admit I was quite impressed. I always use the mixing paddle because it incorporates the ingredients faster… but I, along with my kitchen, am often covered in a fine floury mist. She set the timer for two minutes. While the mixer was whirring away she prepared the countertop for the kneading of the dough, explaining that this was THE crucial part of bread making. I was riveted on her every move… I even jumped when the timer went off. Taking the mixing bowl off the mixer she carefully dumped the dough onto the prepared counter. She shaped the dough into a ball and placed the mixing bowl over top of it to let the dough rest for ten minutes.

“This is a good time to go to a commercial break.” She explained.

All that talk about fresh baked bread was making me hungry, so I hurried into the kitchen for a snack. I heard the music signaling that the show was coming back from commercial and rushed back with my snack and quickly sat down. I looked up at the TV screen to see someone meticulously washing their hands … I thought I had sat on the remote and was watching the surgery channel. Before I could find the remote, the camera was back on the bakery expert’s face.

“Now, this next part is very important,” she explained. “It will make all the difference in the texture of your bread.”

She stood in front of the dough and held her hands up in front of the camera.

“These are the palms of your hands,” she said tapping them together. “You want to use them to knead your dough.”

Bella Nonna, do you think that piece of advice was really necessary? I thought that was a given when she said the word knead.

Maybe she was just trying to be thorough, Alisa.

I guess… Okay, so then the expert pulled the dough in front of her and pressing into the dough with the palms of her hands she said, “You want to push the dough away from your body.” She kept repeating it over and over as she demonstrated her technique. “Remember this is what will make your bread a success or failure!”

I moved closer to the TV screen so I could see exactly what she was doing, I wanted my bread to be a success.

“Remember, it is important to push the dough away from you… never towards you… away from your body,” she puffed as she kept kneading away, “always away from your body… never towards.”

For the next eight minutes all the expert did was knead the dough… I’m not exaggerating… the whole segment of the show was her kneading, panting and explaining the importance of kneading AWAY from your body.

This was her secret for making great bread, kneading the dough away from your body? This woman is considered a master chef and her great discovery is to knead dough away from her body. I know I’m being redundant, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to comprehend the concept of kneading dough… a four-year old could do it. Besides, did you ever try to knead dough TOWARDS your body… especially with the palms of your hands?

Bella Nonna… I see that familiar twinkle in your eyes… what are you thinking? Oh no… I have no right ranting and raving about that woman. I just spent the morning watching a woman make bread; something I have been doing successfully for years. Where is MY common sense?

Alisa, I only have one thing to say… do you want butter or jam on your bread?