Enough Is Enough

Hi Bella Nonna, sorry I missed your birthday.  I have been so depressed lately… time just got away from me. I hope it was a happy one.

Oh Alisa sweetheart, I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling blue.  What is the problem; is it something I might be able to help you with?

I don’t know Bella Nonna… it is really nothing, I guess.  It is just you know…

Life… it has a way of creeping up on you Alisa and before you know it you are lost in a sea of blue funk. 

Come into the kitchen and sit at the table.  I will make a pot of tea and we can chat.  Maybe find you a life raft or something to help you navigate your blue ocean… sorry about the puns; old age I guess.

I love you Bella Nonna.  You always have just what I need… a little tea and sympathy with a generous helping of wisdom and cheesecake.

How did you know I had cheesecake?  You don’t have to answer that… when don’t I have cheesecake!

We are all set Alisa, what has gotten you so depressed?

I guess I have what the Life Coaches call the middle child or the forgotten child syndrome.  I am feeling kinda misunderstood, invisible and unhappy.

Hmmm… this calls for some of my birthday brownies.  You pour us some more tea and I will be right back with the brownies. 

Bella Nonna you amaze me… you have goodies stashed all over your kitchen!

Well I… yes, yes I do!  But these brownies are special…

BELLA NONNA I didn’t know you…

These are not special brownies you little ding bunny… these are brownies that are special to me. Get your head out of California… marijuana is legal there… see a girl can be savvy about the stuff and never tried it.  You are way too old for the just say no! talk.

Okay where was I before you accused me of baking with wacky weed? 

I was pouring tea and you were getting your… brownies.

Alisa, I bake a small batch of brownies every year for my birthday to remind me of a life lesson I learned on my 40^th birthday. 

Just like you I paid attention to all the excuses the experts allowed me to use for not living my authentic life.  All of my unfulfilled dreams were not my fault… I was a middle child… I had no choice.   Luck for me I didn’t realize I was unhappy and misunderstood with oodles of unfulfilled dreams until I was forty. 

The night of my 40^th birthday I sat alone in the moonlight eating all of my birthday brownies… because all of the loving and caring people in my life had forgotten my birthday and didn’t deserve any … I decided to go on a personal journey to discover me.

According to the experts I spent my life prior to forty in La La Land doing for others and not for myself.  Whoa…I should be really unhappy I thought and WHAM... instant depression. 

I spent the next ten years trying to catch up on all the unhappiness I missed out on while living my, unbeknownst to me, miserable unfulfilled materially deprived life.  I filled up three notebooks with all the advice the experts offered to help me solve my horrible dilemma.  I had page after page of advice on mindfulness, choosing reality over fantasy and how to consciously vibrate at a high positive frequency rather than a low negative one.  I have filled up Love Tanks, crashed through Blocks, kept a journal my dreams, contemplated life’s schemes and relanguaged and rewritten my life experiences.

I searched and searched for the answer; unfortunately I didn’t know the question.  But that was okay because I developed what some psychologists call ‘monkey brain’ and with all the chatter going on inside my brain I umm… What was I saying?  Oh yeah, if you’re happy and you know it don’t go looking for answers to someone else’s questions.  I did and all I got for my trouble was writer’s cramp… and a lot of kindling for the family picnic’s bonfire.

In The Blink Of An Eye

Oh hello!   You startled me … I didn’t expect to see you standing there.  I am on my way to Harmony House to visit my dear friend Emily Carpenter, but I will call her and postpone my visit.  She is such a sweetheart; I know she will understand ...

Would you like to go with me?  I know she would love the company. 

I try to visit Emily at least once a week.  Her son and daughter live in Texas and are unable to fly to Harmony Hill to visit with her.  They fly her to Texas for the Christmas Holidays and call her on regular basis, but it is not the same as sitting and chatting with a cup of tea. 

Emily was born and raised in Harmony Hill.  She met her husband Roy when he moved from Texas to live with his Uncle Vincent and Aunt Rita after the sudden death of his parents.  Roy’s Aunt Rita and my mother were second cousins.  So when Emily and Roy had their children I became their permanent babysitter.  I was over their house so much I became a member of the family.  When RJ and Brenda, Roy and Emily’s children, were in their teens Roy decided to move back to Texas so his children could get to know his side of the family.  Emily lived in Texas for over 25 years and never felt like she belonged.  When Roy, after 43 years of marriage, decided he no longer wanted to be married to her, Emily moved back to Harmony Hill.  RJ and Brenda didn’t want to leave their family and friends in Texas, so Emily moved into Harmony House … Katrina Gustafsson-O’Malley’s Retirement Home.

Oh my goodness … I have been blabbing away and all I wanted to say is that Emily just got back from Texas.  Her children flew her out to celebrate her 75^th birthday.  Ready to met Emily?

There’s the birthday girl. 

Oh Bella Nonna you shouldn’t have…

It’s nothing.  I saw it in Julia’s gift shop and thought of you. 

You baked!

You know me Emily … any excuse to eat sweets.  So how was your trip to Texas?

It was lovely.  I hated the airport check-in mess, but my visit with the kids made it well worth the hassle.  The party they gave me was too much fuss for me … I like things quiet.  I would have preferred to just sit and visit, but what can you do?   Also, it made me feel so old. 

Oh pooh, you’re still a vibrant young thing!

Oh no I’m not!   When I was at my party I realized just how old I am.  I was sitting at the head table wishing I could go home and slip into my comfy pajama pants and fuzzy slipper.  Everyone kept coming over to me to congratulate me on turning 75 … like I had a choice.  Then my grandson James, R J’s oldest comes to the table and takes my hand.   The DJ started playing Rainbow Connection, our song.  He asked me to dance.  I tried to get out of dancing, but when I saw the look in his eyes, I couldn’t refuse.  My feet were hurting and I was so tired but slowly I got up and we started dancing.  I rested my weary head on his strong shoulder and closed my eyes.  Within seconds I was swept away in memories.

I was a little girl waltzing on top of my daddy's feet ... A young bride waltzing with my father on my wedding day ... An expectant mother waltzing with a teddy bear... A young mother waltzing with my little son on top of my feet ... A mom pulling my 13 year old son away from the television to waltz with me ... A mother waltzing with my son on his wedding day …  Then a new grandmother waltzing with James in my arms ... To a granny waltzing with my grandson at his graduation party.  As the song was coming to an end, I opened my eyes and gazed up into my grandson's eyes.  In the blink of an eye I went from staring up into my father's eyes while waltzing to staring up into my grandson's eyes.

Emily, if you could, would you do it all over again?

 

In a heartbeat Bella.

Why The Little Boy Cried Wolf

Hi, I was going through some old boxes and found this letter written long ago.  It is very interesting... would you like me to read it to you?  Okay, get comfy...

Hello, I am the grandmamma of the little boy who cried wolf and I want everyone to know the true story.  My little grandbaby cried wolf because everybody ignored him like they do me.  He is… was a sweet little boy who really needed someone to listen to him.  He thought that he wasn't very important to his family and neighbors, so he decided to get their attention by using something he knew they really cared about... the sheep. 

People got the true meaning of this story wrong!  The story is meant to teach adults the important lesson of listening to their children or something horrible will happen.  Someone edited the story to make the little boy the villain. 

The story really went something like this...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who tried his best to get his parents' attention.  He would call to them in the night when he was frightened of the monsters under his bed and they would tell him to go to sleep. "We are very tired and need our sleep.  We need to be wide awake in the morning so we can protect our sheep."

He would try to ask them questions.   "Why is the sky blue?  Where do the stars go in the morning?   Do I really have to wear this wool sweater... it's 92°F in the shade?"

Their answers to his questions were always the same. "We don't have time to answer your silly questions; we need to take care of the sheep."

Day after day the little boy tried to find some way to get his parents' love and attention.  He decided he would go out to the meadow with his parents and help them tend the sheep.  For a few days it was great.  They would talk to him for hours about the sheep.  They explained to him the importance of keeping the sheep together, where the best grass was and above all to keep a good eye out for the wolf. 

The little boy loved all this attention... even if it was all about the sheep.  He got so good at tending to the sheep, his parents decided to let him watch them all by himself. 

Once again the little boy found himself alone... and very frighten.  "What if the wolf comes and tries to eat me up?" worried the little boy.  "Would someone come and save me?"

He became more and more frightened sitting all alone in the meadow.  He thought he saw something moving in the tall grass... he could hear the wolf's heavy breathing behind the trees.  The sheep started to get anxious and began moving around.  His little heart was pounding in his chest.

 "WOLF!" the little boy shouted.  

Within seconds his parents arrived. "Where's the wolf, boy?" his father asked.  "Did you frighten him away?" his mother asked. "Did he get any of the sheep?"

The little boy was so thrilled to be getting all this attention.  He started telling them how he shouted and frightened the wolf away.  When he noticed them getting bored he embellished the story a little to keep them hanging on his every word.  Later, during dinner, his father asked to hear the story again and the little boy happily retold it.  For the first time in his life the little boy felt important.  His parents actually said they were proud of him. 

For the next few days people stop by while the boy sat alone in the meadow and ask him to tell them all about the wolf and how he kept his sheep safe... he loved all the attention.   

Unfortunately for the little boy, all great storied soon lose their appeal and once again he was all alone.  He was feeling very sorry for himself and not paying attention to the sheep.  When he was gathering them up to take them back home, he noticed two of the sheep were missing.  Frighten of what would happen to him when his parents found out, he decided he would blame it on a wolf.  He rolled around in the grass, rubbed mud on his face and messed up his hair.

"WOLF!  WOLF!  It has stolen my sheep!  Please come quickly!" exclaimed the little boy. 

His parents and a few of their nearby neighbors came rushing to the little boy's aid.   By the time the people arrived, the little boy was breathless.  He started telling them how he tried to fight off the wolf.  "I started hitting him with my staff... the sheep were frighten... two of them ran down the hill and were eaten by some wolves that were in the valley... I tried my best... I'm sorry I couldn't save all the sheep," the little boy cried.

Everyone was so happy he was able to save the rest of the flock from the wolves; they gave him a party.  The little boy loved the attention and praise he had gotten so much that he decided to cry "wolf" every few days.  He loved watching the people come running to his aid... it made him feel so important.  What the little boy didn't realize was the people were becoming suspicious and started keeping an eye on him.  They found out that he was bluffing and decided not to go to him when he called.

What they didn't realize is a pack of wolves had found the two stray sheep and eaten them.  The wolves followed their scent back to where the little boy tended his sheep and waited for a chance to attack the little boy when he was alone tending the sheep.  They watched and waited till one day the little boy cried, "WOLF!  WOLF!" and no one came. 

Within minutes the wolves were circle the sheep.  The little boy screamed, "The wolves are really here!  Please come and help me!"  Sadly no one came to his rescue! 

The wolves were able to devour the little boy along with all the sheep.

The moral of the story...

Listen to your children so they do not have to make up stories to get your attention.  That way when a real problem does come along you will be there for them and not suffer a grave loss, such as I do, every day of your life!

Life Alert

Hi Loretta, you caught me in the middle of a Murder, She Wrote marathon. 

I won't keep you Bella Nonna, I just popped in to say hi and to get away from Harvey.  He is drivin' me crazy.  Since he retired last month all he does is follow me around.  If he's not complainin' about somethin' or wantin' me to feed him, he's askin' me stupid questions.  It's like havin' a demented four-year old livin' in the house.

Come on in.  The coffee is fresh and so are the cinnamon buns.  I'll turn off the television and join you in the kitchen… unless you want to watch Murder, She Wrote for a few pointers.

Don't tempt me Bella Nonna.  I can't tell you how many times in the past month the words "Till death do us part" repeated in my head.  But we can have coffee in the family room and watch Murder, She Wrote.   I forgot there was a marathon… I really like that show too.

Great Loretta, you make yourself at home and I'll fix our snack.

Life Alert… I have a life alert for you.

What was that Loretta?

That commercial for Life Alert was just on TV.  I was just … here let me help you with that tray of delicious cinnamon buns and I'll tell you all about it.

Here's the tray… let me grab the pot of coffee Loretta so we won't have to stop in the middle of your story to refill our cups.

Okay Loretta, I'm all set.

When you were in the kitchen gettin' our snack, that commercial for those beeper things that they have for old people who live alone came on.  I was just sayin' you can be livin' in a house with a selfish husband and a zoned out son and be just as at risk.

Are you speaking hypothetically Loretta or…

I wish!  The other day they were in the livin' room watchin' one of those idiotic cartoon-type shows and I was busy cleanin' up their mess, preparin' dinner and lettin' the dog out, you know multi-taskin'… don't get me started on that.

Okay Loretta, I won't.  Would you like more coffee… another cinnamon bun?

Yes to the cinnamon bun … no to the coffee… I'll just pour a little of that cream into my coffee cup, if that's okay with you.

Help yourself.

Well as I was sayin'… I was rushin' around tryin' to get things done.  I could hear those fools laughin' their butts off in the other room so I decided to take a break.  I grabbed my flavored water and went into the livin' room to see for myself what they thought was so funny.  As I stood there watchin' those asinine cartoon characters sayin' things that I am too polite to repeat, I started to choke.  Not just a little cough, I was full out chokin' on some spittle that went down the wrong way.  I even spilled my glass of flavored water tryin' to put it down on the end table.  There I was chokin' to death… everything was going black … I could see the white light and I would have gone into it if my kitchen wasn't such a mess.  No way was I leavin' this world with my house a mess.  Can you imagine how all those tongues would be a waggin' if I did?  It took every bit of my strength, but I managed to clear my windpipe.  Weak from chokin' I flopped into my rocker.  My butt didn't even have a chance to make a dent in the cushion when Harvey asked me what was for dinner.  What was for dinner!  Can you believe it?  I nearly met my maker and all that fool cared about was his dinner!  I should've taken my cast iron fryin' pan…

I don't know if it was luck or Divine Intervention… one of those commercials for cheap life insurance came on and calmed Loretta down with thoughts of how she would spend her insurance money.

If she were to whack Harvey… could I be name as an accomplice for getting her hopped up on caffeine, sugar and Murder, She Wrote? 

Merry Christmas

Dear Readers,

May you be blessed with love, laughter, joy and peace this Christmas.

May all your prayers be answered and your dreams come true in the New Year.

Thank you for visiting my Blog,

Love,
Alice

A Letter To Santa

Hello... please come in.  I am a little sad today.   My friend Maryanne Webber just gave me a copy of a letter her cousin sent her in her Christmas card this year.  Would you like to read it?  It might dampen your Christmas spirit.


Dear Santa,

My wish list for Christmas might seem a little strange. I don't want toys, video games or candy. I'm not sure I even know what these things are. All I know is that they are important to my parents.

I would like some time… a minute if you have one… so I can give it to my mommy. When I ask her to help me with my homework and she says, "Ok, just give me a minute." I will have one to give her. If she says she would read me a bedtime story if she only had the time. I would have some to give her and not be so scared at night.

If it is not too much trouble, I would also like a round tuit. I need it for my daddy. I know he really would like to take me fishing or teach me how to ride my bike, but he needs a round tuit first.

I know you are very busy making toys for the other children. I can help you if you want. I have a lot of toys and stuff I never played with. My mommy and daddy give them to me whenever they miss my school plays or can't take me to the park or any other fun stuff. I really don't mind giving them to you. I can always get more toys from my mommy and daddy, but I can't get the time and a round tuit I need to have my parents play with me.

If you can't get these things for me, could you make us poor? My friend Billy is poor and his mommy is always home and bakes cookies for his lunch and goes to his school plays. His daddy taught him to ride his bike. It's an old bike with only one gear, but at least he knows how to ride it. When I get bored with my video games I sometimes look out my bedroom window and see Billy playing tag with his brother and sister. My nanny won't let me go over because she doesn't get paid enough to worry about me getting hurt playing with those noisy little rascals.

Don't worry if you can't get a round tuit or don't have the time, I’m used to it by now. You can still have all my unused toys... give some to Billy. I can watch him play with them from by bedroom window.

Merry Christmas.

Love,
Jamie

Baby Can You Hear Me

Dear Bella Nonna,

I am worried my three year-old son might be hearing impaired. Sometimes when I call his name, I get no response. He will be playing on the floor not four feet from me and I will call his name and he just keeps on playing. He doesn't even look up. I had heard stories of mothers depriving their children of precious learning experiences by not realizing they were hearing impaired.

I mentioned this to his pediatrician at our last visit and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand and a grunt," New mothers… you all worry too much. Relax, he's fine."

I trust my son's doctor, but I still have this nagging feeling that something might not be right.

What do you think I should do?

Worried in Washington



Dearest Worried,

I went through the exact experience with my three sons. I would try to get their attention and they would often keep right on playing as if I wasn't there.

When Mickey was a toddler I decided to do my own hearing test. One day while he was playing in the living room, I went into the kitchen and opened a bag of cookies. Within seconds he came running in to get one for himself.

I have used this hearing test throughout my three sons' childhood. In fact, I just used it today. While they were outside working on their cars, the radio blasting, I went into the kitchen and opened up the last package of Tastykake. I am happy to report; all three of my sons have excellent hearing.

Take care,
Bella Nonna